28th April 94'
Fifteen.
Musician.
Hate me, PLEASE LEAVE. •
Y OKAY.
I know I said I'm going to post Ko's Farewell's pictures, and the cake making day pictures. But like, too many la. So I'll post when I'm freeee. :] Which is.. probably in the next blog entry. Heh.
SO.
I just felt like posting this today. Er, on Tuesday I think, we had band. I took the keys Mrs. Chng. Supposed to take it from Mr. Tan, but I called Mrs. Quek, and instead asked for Mrs. Chng when I called Mrs. Quek. -.- Does that make sense? I have nooooo idea why I called Mrs. Quek but asked for Mrs. Chng. -.- -.- -.- When I told Mrs. Quek this, she gave me the diaooooo face. HAHAH. I am officially a weirdo, lol , sorry Cher!
BUT ANYWAY.
I got the keys, so I went to the band room early. Like, at 10:30am? Yeah. Band on that day supposed to start at 1:30pm. So... I was 3hours early. :]
For what? I jammed! As in, practised drums before the band started to gather. I played and played, and I played difficult songs TILL. UNTILL. UNTILL.
I KEPT KNOCKING MY LEFT HAND THE DRUMSTICK I HELD IN MY RIGHT HAND. AT THE SAME SPOT. PAINFULL. CRAZY PAINFUL. CHECK OUT THE PICTURES.
thats all, bye!
Teacher's Day Video Y Okay, blog skin changed, song changed.
Things changed. -.-
Will finish up the remaining details next time, now i'm just lazy.
Anyway, just thought I should share the Teacher's Day performance video.
Haha, we sucked like hell.
BUT we had fun.
Its a joy to work with those Sec 2 boys.
I was on the drums! :D
I'm quite happy with the music, Aikel and Aridz played really well. The singing... Well. Danish and Farid first time la~ haha. So excuse them. HAHA.
This was the lower secondary performance. The crowd was not bad, Yay lower sec (:
The recording sucks, there wasn't sound check, mixers, nothing. So the sound projected to the hall was pathetic. AND MY DRUM SOLOS COULDN'T BE HEARD. Like. HELLO?! haha. x]
BUT ITS OKAY LA , IT WAS GREAT !
Got good comments on youtube. :D
And besides, it was all in the name of fun. So good or not, ear hurting as hell, we don't really care because we had the time of our lives on stage on that day.
If it serves as a good laugh to you, I'd take it as a compliment haha, because I laugh too when I think about how brave we were to go up there even though... well. Enough said.
SO turn off the blog's background music, and hit the play button on the video! (:
Enjoy!
Check Yes Juliet Cover (stage) - Reverse Rapsody
(and invited guest, SherilAmilia? haha.)
Ko's Farewell Story (: Y
I am constantly trying to find the will to study.
Whats that word?
The one that means you drag stuff.
Oh yeah, procrastinate.
I'm a cronic procrastinator.
I have two days to the Amath re-test.
And though everyone tells me that they don't do their either, I don't feel any different. I mean, come on. How does saying, "Don't worry, I also never do" helps? I'm sorry if by saying this I'm directly pointing to some of you, but its true ain't it. Just because people don't do it as well won't make anything better. It just means they're just as lazy as you are. As careless.
Sigh.
Anyway today, had a gathering for Ko. He's going back to Korea. ): So to celebrate his farewell. Not in a bad way la~ Lol. So, we had fun I guess. Had several went-wrong-jokes and some bad-moods passing around. &&! the outing was supposed to be for my class alone, but it ended up that most of the classmates couldn't make it so we invited all the others from the different classes and a senior as well (Michelle) lol. WELL. At least we all had fun (I hope), we would all remember this day (for sure) and we had the joy of making a cake for a friend (goooood cake sommore x] ) .
Basically on Saturday me, Yizhen , Kim, Jieyi and Shirly made or rather, deco two cakes especially for Ko (credits to my mom as well) . They came to my house and we got it done. It turned out really nice! (: Then came Sunday, those who said they could attend backed off for reasons of their own, and so we had to re-plan the whole outing. BUT. Everything turned out extrodinary. Credits to Jieyi and Henderson for bringing the mats, Arshad for buying the utensils, the boys for bringing drinks, Amirah for bringing the delicious mee, and of course the gang who made the cake. :D Unbelievable initiative shown, haha. Oh and thanks Ko for being spotting for the day !
We took pictures, creamed people, played wacko, stuffed our tummys, made a fool at the children's playground, shouted, laughed, cried (seriously, haha) and well, everything else that I missed? lol.
I'm really glad I had fun. :]
It was an amazing day.
& Ko? I'm going to miss you, Silly Boy. ;]
Pictures for the 1) Cake-Making-Day
2) Ko's Farewell Party in the next post ! :p
EOY Pending Madness. Y Hello cruel world.
Tomorrow is Monday.
Tomorrow is the day I get my other EOY papers.
Tomorrow is the day.
I'm dead.
Well, not literally.
But dead enough.
Yolasite crashed, Exam-ed Drowned. ): Y Something is wrong with my yola account ):
And I didnt even get to play around with it yet. ): ):
Oh well, blogger it is.
SO.
Updates.
Honestly, i dont really want to talk about life. I just feel like, talking to myself again. Heh. ._. Whaaaaaaaaat. Its better than.. I dont know, it's better than nothing. I just felt like blogging. Because, well because of exams. Shall I start?
So people think I'm smart (haha, no kidding) , and people think I'm lazy (as if that isn't obvious) and some think I'm the latter, and far from that first. Well, I don't care. At least, I thought I didn't.
Today I went out with my two darling friends, Lindsay and Zakiah. Fun, fun and fun. We didn't really do anything WOW but, we had fun. We spent a long time in a DVD store at simei, talked, laughed and talk? haha. We didnt rent or buy anything AND fyi, we're not weirdos who have nothing better to do than to 'waste' time in a CD shop. -.- Firstly, Its not a waste of time, and secondly, we had our own agenda. (:
We're going to set aside a day to movie marathon together, as usual. Each of us will pick a movie of our preference, the forth movie will be the one that we all agree on watching. So, yeah , 4 movies. Or, maybe more? Hah. I'll list them when we've really decided kay, (:
So after that, we all went home. Sort of. Lol.
Then I started thinking : Shit.
You know how difficult it is to teach a baby to pronounce a word correctly? Well, what I'm going to say is more like trying to teach a baby to say out a complete sentence. -.- Crazy? Tell me about it. So what is it? The baby is me, and its not to teach me to say a word or a sentence, its for me to learn all my subjects, that I'd rightfully need a year to fully master, in a day or two.
The results?
May I repeat : Shit.
All my end of year examination papers were killers to me. I couldn't do a single one right. And this, is no exaggeration. Really. Every single one, I couldn't do. Every-Single-One. Not my english, not my malay language, not my E-math, not my humanities. AND DEFINITELY not my sciences. Teachers? Need I say more.
Its like being able to see the future. Fail.
I screwed my compo, I screwed my MT paper 2, I screwed both Emath, I screwed SS with loss of 20+ marks, I screwed Geog with all my wrong explainations and names, I screwed my Amath as usual, and I screwd the two subjects I had planned to pass - Physics and Chemistry.
Half of my Physics paper was empty.
Three-Quaters of my Chem paper was empty. Not kidding.
And to know that results are coming in just 3 days, my heart feels like its been flattened by a hammer. Or maybe a chopper. hmm.
I've tried all kinds of distractions - and I've told myself that I cant really do anything. Who can? But I can't help it. Its like this short sharp pain that stabs my emotions everytime I think of my amazing-results-to-be. I know I'm at fault - I know I'm wrong because I've never put in even half of the required effort, and that I never really cared. I'm to blame because I've been pretending my way through showing that I'm a good student.
But I've never wanted to be that way ! I was only like that because I was afraid of showing teachers, parents and friends that I wasn't good enough. I was afraid to let them know that I'm not smart; that I don't understand anything that was being taught in school, and that I was lagging waaaaaaaaay behind. Yes, my pride blocked my view. And sad to say the pride is still there.
I see now that my lack of interest to give any attention at all to my studies became a permanent stain. I didn't even want to touch any books. Thats how bad it is. I cant say that part of me is gone, but I have a feeling its still there. Its awfully a gangsterous weight that pulling me down. I can't even remember how good I felt once , for studying. Now, I just cry.
What if I get retained? What if I get transferred to another stream? Teachers hate me. What if I get last in class? Last in my level? What if I get 20% and below for all my subjects? What would my parents say? What would the school do to me? What would people think of me? How would I be treated then? Will I ever be smarter than I am today? I know that the EOY was fully last minute, and I foresee that it far from worked.
But will I ever be able to shoulder the embarrassment?
Now I feel that I dont deserve to be celebrating. To go out, to have fun. I feel that I dont deserve to go to Hong Kong. ): Really. And I feel like the only thing I should get is to drown myself in life punishment forever. Or maybe just jump off a cliff.
I'm so stupid.
Why.
Right now, frankly, I'm only thinking teachers and parents shouting at my ears. Or maybe just nagging. What am I going to say? Besides, its too late for me. Its too late for me to get any smarter. To learn what's enough for my exams. My national exams.
I'm so afraid. ):
I have half a mind to not come to school and face my results forever. How could I? Mrs. Liow will keep pointing out to the class about how badly I did. Keep rubbing it in. Dont I know already? Dont they?
And that I'm the stupider side of the class.
Oh god.
Can I sleep, and never wake up.
Sigh.
BLOGGER'S BACK ! Y
BLOGGER CAN USE READY OMG
MIRACLE.
MOVED. Y MOVED FOR GOOD.
MOVED.MOVED.MOVED.MOVED.MOVED.MOVED.MOVED.MOVED.
http://sherilamilia.yolasite.com/
New blog not done editing, but just letting you all know now because I cant stand blogger any longer. -.-
Oh, rhymes. haha.
Check it out :D
