Saturday, April 3, 2010
Mind Overload Y
Is it possible to die, but still live?
To say you have a heart , but it's empty?
I could feel my heart druming against my chest. And tears at the back of my eyes, just merely making an effort to stay put. My voice is like an aeroplane radio machine - it fades off once in a while. My palms are sweaty, my head is spinning. Emotions suddenly feel like a word of horror.
I slept a lot today. Because sleeping is like dying - you're not aware of the world you were previously living. No, I dont want to die. I know its a decision I'm not supposed to make. But I want to forget. And dying - or rather, sleeping - is the only way. Images and thoughts pop in my mind just as quickly as advertisements rapidly appearing in your computer screen.
I spread my hands to the shape of my face, and breathed. The little amount of air i was able to inhale excites me. Because it marks something I could control. Life from me now, is a complete mess once again. And yes, I'm turning to my old ways.
Serious matters involves family.
Minor , ridiculous , and a waste-of-precious-time-that-I-simply-dont-have are the thing we call, 'friends.'
My heart is broken, emptied. I breathe like that's a thousand layerings under my throat. My eyes are swollen, my chest is aching, and my mind is overloaded.
All i ask of you is to understand & leave me alone if you are planning to make my days from bad to worse. Dont give me unnecessary problems.
You wont believe what I'm going through.
