Amilia!

Time to Think

2010-08-16T06:59:00.000-07:00

Wow the last time i ever blogged was probably during the stone age.

Many things has changed, many things remained the same, and many new things has made a debut appearance in my life. Will update when everything is stable and clearer, even for myself. (:

Missing 'something'

2010-05-05T03:13:00.000-07:00

Something's missing.

I feel like my life has this huge hole, but I have no idea what. And no, its not a guy. I don't know what, but whatever 'it' is , its hurting me really badly.

I think I know how to explain this ... thing. Its like, I have something to shout, but what I'm shouting is just plain words without meaning. Like, "BLA BLA BLA"? Yeah.
Or , like when you feel like you have a lot of friends, like they all care and love you. But you still feel all alone ... Wait. Maybe thats it. I'm lonely.
Or maybe its got to do with the things I do. Like, how I always procastinate. Maybe, because of that, I feel like the time, (and the world) is moving too slowly. Like everything is made slow on purpose, so that the hurt I'm feeling now will last longer.
Or maybe, its the people who've left me. People who died, or people who just disregard their existance in my life, for someone else, or because of someone else. Or something.
Then again, it could be because I desperately need a hug. From a friend. Someone who know's how I feel, someone who feels this 'hurt'. Even if that person dont quite understand, I need that someone to just OUT OF NOWHERE hold my hand and say, "call whenever you like. I'm here."

Or maybe.
I'm just going crazy.

Saving up

2010-04-09T22:28:00.000-07:00

THERE ARE SO MANY THINGS THAT I WANT TO BUY.
But, no money . Hahaha.
I want to list it all out . Hmm lets see..

Michael Jackson "This is it" DVD.
New Moon DVD
Avatar DVD
Remember Me DVD
Olinda Choo "Rewind" Album
New Moon Soundtrack
School Bag
Sony Ericson Earpiece
Watch Clash of the Titans
Watch When in Rome
Watch Diary of a Whimpy Kid
Band Graduation Gifts
Elliott Yamin Album
Pink 'Funhouse' Album

Ok, maybe most of it is all movie related. I like watching movies, so cant blame me. lol. Ok start saving Sheril! The list is longer. -.- But, Lemme stick to that for now.

Mind Overload

2010-04-03T08:52:00.001-07:00

Is it possible to die, but still live?
To say you have a heart , but it's empty?

I could feel my heart druming against my chest. And tears at the back of my eyes, just merely making an effort to stay put. My voice is like an aeroplane radio machine - it fades off once in a while. My palms are sweaty, my head is spinning. Emotions suddenly feel like a word of horror.

I slept a lot today. Because sleeping is like dying - you're not aware of the world you were previously living. No, I dont want to die. I know its a decision I'm not supposed to make. But I want to forget. And dying - or rather, sleeping - is the only way. Images and thoughts pop in my mind just as quickly as advertisements rapidly appearing in your computer screen.

I spread my hands to the shape of my face, and breathed. The little amount of air i was able to inhale excites me. Because it marks something I could control. Life from me now, is a complete mess once again. And yes, I'm turning to my old ways.
Serious matters involves family.
Minor , ridiculous , and a waste-of-precious-time-that-I-simply-dont-have are the thing we call, 'friends.'

My heart is broken, emptied. I breathe like that's a thousand layerings under my throat. My eyes are swollen, my chest is aching, and my mind is overloaded.

All i ask of you is to understand & leave me alone if you are planning to make my days from bad to worse. Dont give me unnecessary problems.

You wont believe what I'm going through.

Brilliante III

2010-04-01T08:01:00.000-07:00

Brilliante was on the 28th and 27th of March this year. It was held in school. Not really a desired venue, but it was , oveall , awesome (:

Brilliante was the last performance for us seniors. We need not attend band anymore, but well. I'm sure all of us miss band like mad already ):
So anyway, about the performance.
Friday, 26 March
I was excited because Athirah and Nusaiba were coming to the concert. Oh and Lexuan (: So.. I planned to give a perfect performance. But as usual, I was dead nervous. The two songs band played were Walking On Sunshine and Japanese Graffiti IV. The band was the opening act for the day. The first song was Walking on Sunshine. It started okay, my tempo was fine, but a few seconds later MY DRUMSTICK FLEW. Yes, I accidentally threw my drumstick. So... The song suddenly didn't have any drums for a few seconds, like 5 seconds? But ! I caught the stick ! So i resumed playing. Practically everybody couldn't see me from where I was sitting, so nobody knew what happened. But those who saw thought that I was doing a stick trick -.-
I almost died when that happened. Feelings rushed in , and I didn't know what to listen to. But in the end, SOMEHOW I managed to continue. I guess because I continued it wasnt that bad.

Anyway, Saiba had to leave early. So I spent time with Thirah and Lexuan. LOL I gave them a night tour in school. We talked and talked . Then they went back up to watch mordern dance performace, and when the concert was over, we all went home? Lol that was all.

27 march
Everyone would have thought that once I dropped my drumstick in the previous performance, it can't POSSIBLY happen again. But, it did. And this time, IT DROPPED. Not flew, DROPPED. Luckily I had a spare drumstick on the drumset. I dropped it when playing the SAME song as yesterday, and at the SAME PART of the song as yesterday. ): I cried while playing.
When we finished our performance, I cried again. I was really upset - no kidding. I dropped it TWICE for pete's sake. Twice. Both performances. I was very embarrassed.
But my band member were nice, everyone tried to make me feel better. They all said it was fine, and it was a small cock up , but I was still unhappy (duh).
People like Shawn, Yulu all did great in cheering me up , thanks guys. Then, Mr. Fahmi said that he wanted to have a word with me. He said that he thought I played great, and what happened was no biggy. He said I've proved to make a great difference from where I started off in Secondary One. So ... I guess its WAS fine, but making that mistake just crashed me harder than I expected.
On that same day, since it was my last performance as a Bedok Green Concert Band member (hahahahaha), I bought cakes for my percussion juniors as a gift. And I preparred letters to them, touching letters lol. I hope they liked it. (:

So , I guess brilliante was a blast. Oh, and thanks to all the band juniors who sent their well wishes to me. & I'll miss you too :D Now, I'd leave you witha picture of my darlings <3

My Dearest Percussion

They are my world. All of em'.

I love all of you.

Pain

2010-03-17T17:50:00.001-07:00

My heart is aching with pain.

I don't know what it is. Or maybe I do. But how do I find just a fraction of strength for me to keep going. They say that strong people can whether hardships. I used to think I was one of them. Now I'm just confused.

It seems unfair to be facing these obnoxious moments during the most important year of my teenage life. I don't know who I can turn to - or at least who I can talk to without feeling awkward. My family is wonderful for care, but opening up to our family may not always be the brightest things one could decide to do. &sometimes, we have to admit that families ARE our problems.

Every time I turn around, I long to see someone standing there that truly cares. Someone who actually gets sincerely worried when I tell them I'm down. Someone who would go the extra mile to pull me back up. To my utter dismay, the only thing I see when I do turn around is my shadow. Shadows are dark. And they haunt you everywhere you go. To me it means something unplesent - maybe our past or present - always following you, reminding you of its pain. A friend used to tell me 'the shadow proves the sunshine' . Right now, I think that sunshine doesn't belong to me. And it's making me feel like other people's happiness is causing me sadness. Even if the 'sunshine' belongs to me, it's just too far away, and I'm not getting any closer. Literally too.

I don't quite understand why I feel like my chest is being suppressed downwards with the force of the wrold's hatred combined together. Its like a constant pressure punching me. I think I feel lonely, but I don't know if I could securely consider this feeling as loneliness. I am dying to have someone to love, and vice versa. &by this I don't mean a boyfriend. Just a really close friend . A friend that only exists in my imagination, i'm sure.

I want to cry, but I can't find the tears. I want to smile, but I fear I've lost the ability. I want to laugh, but laughter seems a sin. If I said I wanted life, I'm already living. And if I wanted death, its not a decision that I'm allowed to make.

I wish someone would just magically approach me and give me a hug. Not those that their arms are just merely touching your skin and they just pat your back. Thats a pretend hug. I want a proper hug. And I want that person to say "Its okay"

I guess the only one that could truly help me is Almighty..

Angry .

2010-03-16T06:48:00.000-07:00

Pissed off as hell.

No, nothing happened. I don't even know why I feel this way. My heart feels like its dropping out. Like, its being PUSHED out. By someone. Or something. I can come up with a million reasons to be angry about. Thing is I somehow see those 'reasons' as an excuse of how I'm feeling now. I myself don't understand why I'm so pissed off. Okay, lemme list things out.

Percussion shirt.
I don't even want to talk about that. POS.

Percussion juniors.
I'm just mad with them, and trust me, i've got SEVERAL reasons to be. (not interested, go and die. I dont need to be ignored and do all the work for you guys. If you guys show me that you're actually INTERESTED, I wouldn't complain doing it. but fuck, now i look like i'm the one who's desperate. Dont test me, because i'm the exact definition of an evil monster.)

Seniors (Just 3 actually.)
I always have to listen to them.
They think they're the best.
Rude.

Money.
What's there to talk about? I dont even have em'.

Family.
I miss my brother. (??)

Friends.
OMG KILL ME. I got annoyed SO easily today. Seriously la. I know I'm impatient, I know I've got bad temper, I know no one really likes me. I dont understand why some people have to PISS ME OFF like that. Whats killing me is that I can't even SHOW or SAY ANYTHING . I'm really pissed with FOUR people in particular.
I dont understand why people dont take me seriously.
I dont understand why people treat me like a child.
I dont understand why the things that i do is always wrong.
I dont understand why I'm always expected to listen to other people.
I dont understand why people always think they're right and I'm an idiot.
I dont understand why I'm always seen to be the fucked up teen.
I dont understand why people make me look like i'm the only fucked up teen in class.
I dont understand why when others do something wrong, its totally fine, but when I do it, you'd hear people saying "That's so Sheril" - which is what - fucked up teen isn't it?
Annoying shit.

Teachers
Every teacher right now is like a jaggered knife slowly making their way through my chest, only to puncture the area surrounding my heart, and not directly in it. Because if it stabbed my heart, I'd be dead. "It" in this case is the knife (or rather knifes), which are the teachers. My teachers. I'm not dead, I'm just in pain. The first teacher is annoying to the dammed max. The second teacher is EXCEEDINGLY annoying. The last teacher is just fucked up. I'm meeting her tomorrow. I dont even plan to come to school because I dont want to see her face. But , my olevels are on the line. Most of the time, I'd be driven by my emotions and feelings when I make decisions, but my brains are saying that I shouldn't be stupid and prioritize my national exams. Someone, enlighten me.

Studies
I just can't do it. I can't stay focused. Heck, I've never been in the first place.

Thats it.

I'm stupid.

2010-02-19T07:50:00.000-08:00

I know fewer people come to my blog to read because everyone's busy studying.

Notice the title?
I mean it.

I have this discernible feeling that I will never do well for my studies. I felt so confident at the start of the year, but now.. really. I've tried and tried, yet failed and failed. My subjects are supposed to be a lot easier for me now - my sciences in particular - but.. not the grades that I want, especially not for chemistry. My language subjects quality is also burning down to a dangerously low level. I don't feel that .. spark (?) when I'm writing my essays - both english and malay . I'm not doing as well as I want myself to, not even as well as I used to. And don't even get me started about maths. Additional maths is a pain. Period.

I try to put in effort for my mathematics, but regardless of what i do, I seem to always fail. No, I haven't failed any tests this year so far (which is a good thing), and yes, passing means I'm improving from last year (which is also a good thing) but its still not good enough. I don't want to be getting Cs for my subjects do I? Do you?

I dont even want to get a B. I fear that I'm never going to be able to do well. Despite what I do, I just won't. Somehow, I have thing feeling weighing in my heart that its too late, and impossible to do. No, I'm not just saying this because I'm emo. I've been feeling this since the start of this year, I just managed to ignore it - not so much anymore.
People in my class are probably doing far better than I am. I'm simply lagging behind, as usual.

I don't know whats the problem. I think I'm not putting in enough effort . I think i'm slacking too big a fraction. I think i'm not focused. If I am, then can you tell me how do I do all that? Becuase i've tried and it obviously hasn't worked for me one bit.

Bottom line - I'm stupid.
Everyone in my class is probably doing far better than I am. I think people look down on me. I think peopl know I'm not exactly very bright. Or am I just paranoid? I'm so, so worried...

I wish I could talk to someone about this. Problem is there's no one I feel safely comfortable with to speak to about it. & just so you know, this whole thought is disturbing me so bad, I cry myself to sleep every night.

& I shall do just that right now. Goodnight.

Amelia Earhart

2010-02-09T09:28:00.000-08:00

It's 2 in the morning. I'm ashamed that I'm awake, watching a movie.
But then again, I feel its worth while. I'm watching the movie called 'Amelia', which, I'm also very proud of because its my second name, haha. The very fact that its my name, makes me feel like I'm her. It makes me feel like I have her qualities as a person, and that eventually one day, I will.

Who is Amelia? Well her full name's Amelia Earhart. She's the first female pilot to make it across the Atlantic and then, across the WORLD. Amelia is headstrong, focussed, determined and firm. She knows what she wants, and isn't willing to let anyone get in her way. Above all, Amelia is soft hearted. She's kind, and is certainly the complete opposite of the word narcissistic. Why? Because she's constantly encouraging others to do great things as she did. Furthermore, she's never too ashamed of admitting when someone is better off than she is, and is instead glad for him/her whereas staying contented for getting a chance to know that person first-hand.

I realised one glaring difference between Amelia and myself. She doesn't care about people's comments, insults, anything. Amelia either makes a lesson out or it, or just don't give a damn. She's not afraid to be herself, to be different, and is confident with everything she does, even though she might not be completely prepared for it. No matter what people say, she still continues to take pride with herself and do as she wishes. Unlike myself, whenever someone insults me, or say that I can't accomplish something, I give up.

"If I had listened to what people said to me, I would never have made it across the Atlantic."

-Amelia Earhart

There's similarities too, between me and her. One obvious one, is of course, the desire to do something crazy. Doing something out of the name of fun. Getting into trouble, or doing something just for the thrill of it. I'm like that too, in case any of you still didn't know haha. She's not afraid to try something new (so am I) , and pilot because she enjoys it - fun. Just like me when it comes to music. (:

"Who wants to be imprisoned by safety?"

- Amelia Earhart

The person who acted as Amelia Earhart was Hilary Swank. She's gorgeous, and I love how she looks like Amelia. Plus the fact that she's an awesome actress, and was able to blend into her personality. 'Amelia' the movie is the second theater biography of Amelia. The first is another movie called "Amelia Earhart - The Final Flight".

Hilary Swank

The lady herself :

Amelia Earhart Ending of with the movie trailer :

WATCH IT.
EXTREMELY WORTH IT.

Amelia Earhart - a legend.

Music Poem

2010-02-06T02:30:00.000-08:00

Music

A mixture of sound and silence

Artistic release in time, the essence

Alluring beauty avowedly delivered

At best, music is simply divine!

Good music moves our hearts

Great music cleanses our minds

Grand music uplifts our spirits

Gracious music indeed excels

Mundane worries consigned away

Music keeps the masses enthralled

Mystic saints’ melodious music

Mesmerized even the Gods!

Mellowed cow milks more & more

Music to ears turns it a philanthropist

Music therapy to the miserable

Manifests in salvation- a revelation

Melody transforming the audience

Music equates earth with heaven

Mesmerized souls with moist eyes

Muse over the theme time and again

Music can bring about rain

Music can unshackle the mind

Music can well alleviate pain

Music is simply divine!

______________________________________________

Today,

I went to the Marine Parade library with Zakiah to study.

Studied for less than 3 hours I think. But not that bad, quite productive I guess. On the way home, the bus drive damn annoying. Walao I tell you, he drives like ... -.- I fell twice. Yes, I FELL. He like dunno how to drive man, anyhow break or suddenly start moving. Alamaaaaak annoying. And the bus was croweded. What could have been worse !

Thats all, later ~

Personality

2010-01-30T07:32:00.000-08:00

Do opposites really attract?

I have a feeling no one really knows the real me. Lol. Imagine me saying I'm shy - you'd all be like: WHERE GOT. Right? -.-
But well, unless you're my close friend, you'd know (:
I'm very dreamy so I tend to pretend to be the opposite of who I really am. Because like, I dont like my personality. I pretend to be outgoing and force myself to do things that by right, I'm too embarrassed/scared to do because I believe in doing things to overcome my fears. But anyway, I dont really have to explain myself. If you're close to me, you'd naturally know. :D

Ethan Ong (drum series 3/7)

2010-01-23T08:12:00.000-08:00

Ethan Ong is a singaporean kid, who can really rock the drums. I think this year, he's 11 years old. He started the drums as a kid, since 2 years old, and by now, its no question that he's amazing. 9 years experience la, so obviously. And he was trained since young, so explains his awesome-ness. Ethan is not really coming out in the media after 2008, but I think its nice to bring his name back up again. He's a good drummer anyway, so why not (:

In comparison with me, I've only played the drums for about
2 years 9 months. Lol (:
Its quite far fetched from 9 years, but he's got the experience, proper training and his own drumset, unlike me. ): I'm not that good. I probably still suck but well, least I'm learning. Hopefully I'd be as good as the boy one day. :D & hope to be given the oppurtunity to excell in my interest despite the set backs. I sound extremely confident eh? Well to be honest its far from confident. I think I suck so bad I cry everytime I think of going into a music school. Because I know I'm not good enough and that I dont have proper training.

But people say miracles happen.
Who knows? If there's someone in this world who's willing to turn this sucker into a super drummer at the age of 16. Lol, fat hope , but dreams do come true, so I was told.

If you're my friends, support me please.
If you're my family, pray for me please.
And if you're anyone else, then just watch me? Haha.

So anyway, here is Ethan Ong.
He played this at the age of nine.

Nanyang Academy of Fine Arts - Money

2010-01-16T03:01:00.000-08:00

Ok first,
Happy Birthday Seah Hee Cheng (:
Thank you for accompanying me to NAFA open house. Had fun. :D

Okay now.
I realised how miserable life can be without money. How everything seems to revolve around that very word is crazy annoying. Money. Money. Cash. Dollars. As much as people say money isn't the world, Money still takes the lead in our lives. Sure, people say "Money doesn't buy happiness." But what do those people know, really? Are they over exceedingly wealthy - and can't find any good use of their money? Or are they poor, and had come to realise that people like them need a phrase to convince themselves that money is not important? What, reverse psychology? Oh, come on. Seriously.
We all know money buys happiness. We all know that money is the ticket to anything. Everything. As long as you've got money, you've got the world lingering at the tip your fingertips. Don't bullshit about how money spoils, money's a distraction and shit. Who are we kidding? You want education? Sure, hand the money. You want to be smart? Sure, hand the money. You want food? Sure, hand the money. You want to save a life? Sure, pass the money. You want a baby? Okay, where's the money? You want to die? Definitely, but where's the money.

Money money money.
Okay why the sudden outburst about money right?
Because I went to NAFA today. Was crazy pumped up. Excited as hell. HeeCheng brought me around, and yes, I got my questions answered about what life in NAFA is like. Getting into the school is one problem. But when I do get into the school, where's the money? -.- There's this Access Course for musicians like me who dont have qualifications and but want to join NAFA. So, I have to attend the course. And audition of course. Basically getting into the school is just focussed on the Audition. If you shine in your audition, chances of you getting into the school is a high chance. So, I cant screw my audition. Okay, so guess how much is the Access Course ? Two thousand. $2000. Where am I going to get that money now? And its only to enroll into the course, not the school. Imagine the school ! How much more money do I have to beg for.

I'm partially desperate to be a NAFA student. I've thought and considered my options, yet NAFA still appears as my first aim. I want to study in NAFA. I want to be a music degree holder in that school. But notice, this is all what I want. What do I need is entirely a different matter. And where do I get the money? Forget money for the school. How do I get the money for the Access Course? And when I finish the course, what if i don't get into NAFA? What if I wasted $2000 for the course, but end up not entering NAFA. What a horrible outcome.

I'm confused, discouraged, and helpless.
I had my hopes way up there, and now suddenly its like floating only a mere meter from the ground. I hope I can make it into NAFA. Now, I gotta screw my head with the confidence I know I don't have and work for an amazing Audition for the school.
SherilAmilia, a wild dream, that is.

Kay, I wanna go on but got homework.
Hope this NAFA thing is put aside. I cant seem to focus in anything when I have my mind going on and on about in. Sigh, NAFA*.

*NAFA - Nanyang Academy of Fine Arts

Fucked up.

2010-01-13T04:24:00.000-08:00

Right now,
I could burn someone alive.

Things are extremely fucked-up for me now. So let me warn you, to not mess with me. You got on my nerves today, and I had half a mind to hit you. I love you , you are my friend. But until you learn to respect me and the others, will I give you the respect you're asking for from us. I hate you when you're that way. And you spoiled my day, probably my whole week.

Mess with me again, and I'd make sure I get your throat slaughtered.
Just because I've changed this year, you better not take advantage.
I'm not an idiot.
And if you push me to the limit, you'd be surprised what I can do to someone I hate.

Ngee Ann Poly Open House - Taylor Swift Cover

2010-01-10T03:10:00.000-08:00

I went to Ngee Ann Poly's Open House yesterday with my brother and his friends.
I had fun (:
There's a few courses I'm interested in, but will be taking a look at NAFA with HeeCheng at their open house next week first, then I'd decide.

Anyway, at Ngee Ann, my brother brought me to their school's recording studio , its called Studio 27 I think . haha, if not 27, its some other number which I cant remember. We were there to just jam, but the people there helped to record what we were playing, so the following video is the recording. Personally I think its nice, and those who were there were nodding their heads along with the song, so.. not bad lah~ We made mistakes here and there, but hey. When we recorded this it was spontaneous. Last minute decided what song to play, and it was on the spot improvisation. Haha . For something totally unplanned, its not that bad. (:

Haha you judge for yourself. My brother played the guitar, I played the drums. I wasn't that big a part i the song, it was easy drumming, nothing WOW. But, least I had fun, and bobo sounded good. :D
Here it is.

Listen with headphones. Better quality.
You Belong With Me Cover - Taylor Swift

1st Week 2010

2010-01-07T04:21:00.000-08:00

Its the 7th day in January 2010.
So its like, one week?
And its been a great week for me. (:

Its my best week in 2010 so far.
Everything seems like its falling into place, Alhamdulillah. Yes, there are certain things that are harder now than 2009. Certain.. Lost. Like, wanting something though knowing I can't get it. Literally. Anyway, hopefully things go on this way and when challenges do pop in, I'd be able to deal with them calmly AND hopefully its the same way for my family and friends too.

Since the year started, I've got like, a sudden calling.
Like, a reminder to cherish my loved ones. Be grateful of my life. And make the most out of everyday. I do believe I'd have regrets somewhere along the way, but well. Its part of life, huh (:

I've very, very blessed.
In my own way. :D

New Year Resolutions. (2010)

2009-12-31T00:53:00.000-08:00

Year 2010.

Score for my O'levels.
Stop procrastinating all the time.
Stick to my plans. (stop being flicker-minded)
Widen my circle of friends.
Get a closer bond with the frineds I have now.
Stop forgetting Birthdays.
GET OVER HIM.
Be slightly more organized.
Don't miss any more prayers just because I'm lazy.
Love my family moooore.
Lessen my temper.
Stop skipping classes.
Throw all my bad habits that affects my health.
Gain back the trust that I've previously lost from my friends and family.

AND.

15. Be a good person - inside and out.

Those are the rough ideas. Hopefully. (:

Dear Almighty,

May you bless my journey for the coming New Year. I hope to amend all my sins, or learn for them as much as I may. Help me leave behind undesirable moments of this year, and build unforgetable memories in 2010. I strive to be a better person, to be likeable and be more assuring in whatever I do. Please guide me through.

Amen.

Cheated.

2009-12-30T22:34:00.000-08:00

I wrote a poem. Possible lyics. :D
Dedicated to that someone.

I cry and cry as hard as I may,
Thinking of you every night and day.
But some love come and and some may past,
I guess ours wasn't meant to last.

I tell myself we were never meant to be,
I knew this was coming, but I still couldn't see,
The cold behind your warmth, the harted behind your love,
But now its too obvious, I'm far from what you should deserve.

You're a cold-hearted bone-head, a pain in my arse,
The only one who could possibly give me emotional SARS.
You are a fuck witt, one of those pathetic bastards,
And I was foolish to love a guy of your standards.

Forgive my use of language, you have to understand
When a girl gets cheated, its a lot in her hand.
She means no harm, and wishes for peace and love
But until she truly heals, she means what she say - all the above.

When a girl accepts a man in her life,
She's giving them something she knows he can break.
So if you have a girl or a wife,
The love you give her, it better not be fake.

- And so it ended , at the end of 2009.

Fazwin's Birthday 2009

2009-12-25T21:42:00.000-08:00

Happy Birthday Abang.
The video I made says it all (:

Sadist.

2009-12-24T05:55:00.000-08:00

There are certain moments in my life where I get extremely sad and angry for the wrong reasons, or for reasons that don't matter much. And sometimes, people see it as such a small matter, it drives me crazy. I have a feeling that if I wanted to be a murderer, I could. I could kill someone and still feel nothing after. I swear I could cause slow death to someone, and enjoy causing the pain. A few friends call me a sadist. Is that a compliment, really? Sometimes I have no idea who I am. And other times, I feel so blessed with my life. Everyone goes through these ups and downs, but mine if too frequent, its making me really tired. The fact that temper swings a lot more often than blessings, I feel like I was meant to do bad things. Be a bad person. I know I could, but why do I hold it back. I'm not afraid of being a criminal, honestly. There's so much anger in me, I bet it could be a lifetime's worth of hatred. Maybe the reason why I even think of killing is because I don't see another way to get rid of that anger. Can you believe that at some nights I spent my time thinking of a way to carry out a smooth murder? Thinking of the best way to end someone's life. The whole night. Isn't that just sick? Maybe its because I dont know who I am. What I really want, or what I really feel. Maybe I need to do some soul searching. I would appreciate it if I God could help me remember about the people who cares for me. Because, whoever you are, you're not here. Now. Then again, only I can help myself. Only I can care for myself. Fuck.
Something's wrong with me. I know I need help, and I know there's help. I know. But how could I bring myself to accept that help, I dont know. I'm been cool for the past few days, staying calm, and reletively stable. But how long really.
There, my little pour out in simple English.

Thomas Lang (drum series 2/7)

2009-12-11T23:19:00.000-08:00

Introducing Thomas Lang!

Gorgeous eh? He's got other sexy pictures that are REALLY COOL but I think this picture shows that he's simply good looking. (:
He is indeed an amazing drummer, but in my opinion this video isn't THE best drum solo that has ever existed on the face of the earth. There other drummers that I know who has got better drum arrangements than him for this video, but his opening act is amazing. How he did the stick clicking. His back sticking, stick twirling, and stuff, is impressive. Though Jojo Mayer (will be introduced in the next post maybe?) has better drum arrangements and stick tricks, Thomas Lang is just plain great because he's good looking (hahaha) and an obviously good drummer in terms of stage presentation and his creativity.

Plus the fact that he can double stroke ubber fast. (:
Here's the vid.

Once again,
Amazing drummer.

HongKong Pictures Next!

2009-12-08T01:58:00.001-08:00

Band's overseas trip in HongKong is next post. :D

Sent Zakiah at Airport!

2009-12-08T01:51:00.000-08:00

Monday, 23 Nov 2009

Went to send Zakiah (and the modern dances I guess.) off to Bangkok, Thailand on that day. (:

It was before band, so I rushed back to school.

Qistina's Birthday (31th Oct 2009)

2009-12-08T01:46:00.000-08:00

Happy Belated Birthday Qistina.

(my cousin)

Ko's Farewell Cake Making!

2009-12-08T01:19:00.000-08:00

I promised pictures, but I never posted them.
So here they are !

Saturday, 31th Oct 2009

KO'S FAREWELL CAKE MAKING :)

The baking team ! Haha not including my mom? xP

Go JieYi!

Alamak, Yizhen try arh. x]Me & Yizhen playing with my cat, Ginger.

Haha, any chance Yizhen and Ginger are related? Look at their resemblence. xD

Kim, Shirly

Heh, Jieyi.

She's calling the class. :/

She's calling my cat. :D

Thats all, we miss you Ko!

Marco Minnemann (drum series 1/7)

2009-12-05T20:36:00.000-08:00

Okay, I'm in the drumming mood.
So, each day I will post one drum video that I like. Highlighting the drummers that I simply adore. Today will be the first, and its Marco Minnemann. He's young, he had his own tour, and he's not only a drummer of course. Plays other instruments too. Here he is:

The video:

WATCH IT.
An absolutely amazing musician.

Hope to play like him one day.

Magic

2009-11-26T06:57:00.001-08:00

I should start praying again.
Talk about lazy. :/

Anyway, I think I'm going back to magic again! I'm going to do tricks, illusions, mind reading. (:
This ought to be fun man. I miss doing magic.

Any of my primary school friends remember me showing you tricks? x]

Magic , here I come!

For Her.

2009-11-21T20:23:00.000-08:00

I wonder how you're doing there
Here, I'm shackled to missing you
Is this the feeling of a tortureous separation?
It hurts to be living apart.

My heart feels like its left with you
Though you're a thousand miles away
A second feels like a year's length now that you're gone,
There's nothing that I could do.

Whenever I miss you, I'll say out your name
With the hope that you'll appear with me
Whenever I miss you, I'll dream of you again,
And that would be my cure.
Because I miss you so.

It has crossed my mind to just let go
And stop seaching cause you're not here
But this is part of my sacrifice
To when I wasn't there for you

Living here is a huge difference
And I know I'd be a million times better off
if I were there with you.
I can't wait for my time to return
But until then,
There's nothing that I could do.

Whenever I miss you, I'll say out your name
With the hope that you'll appear with me
Whenever I miss you, I'll dream of you again,
And that would be my cure.
Because I miss you so.

That's for her.
I love you so much.
How much it hurs to look in the mirror, because I know it reminds me of you. You can't imagine the pain, really, you can't.

Haters

2009-11-17T09:16:00.000-08:00

You know,
When you find out that people hate you, most of the time it'd crush your heart - and you'd start thinking of all the different reasons why they do. When you get to surface those 'reasons', you'd start regretting that you ever did those things. You'd wish you were never that person, and that you could take them all back.

I felt that way 4 days ago.
A friend of mine told me about my haters. And quite frankly, I died. As in, I cracked up my brain so much about how I could make those people (or particular person) change their minds about me. To - in a way - apologise to them. What I could do, to make things right. To get rid of haters.

But then again, everyone has haters.
You can be the most popular person in school, or the quietest person in class, or simply the most likeable being on earth. Yet, there will always be people who has something against you. Even the nicest people has haters - regardless of the reasons as to why those people hate them - it still means they have people who dislike them. Or what they do. You could try to change their minds - make them see another part of you - or pretending to be the complete opposite of how they view you.

Doing any of that, means you have to change something about yourself. It means you forcefully change a part of you. Even if what you're changing is a bad character, it's still changing. What if you were meant to be that way? We are all meant to be the way that we are now. Whatever that has to change will change naturally, and when its ready. If we forcefully change something, or even plan to do it, we're changing a part of us that is meant to be. I once heard someone say this - "God made us perfect."

Doesn't that mean, WE are who WE are? Whatever negative personality that we may have, are all part of us. Imagine only having good qualities and banishing bad ones. Wouldn't that be weird? Like - yin and yang. Has to be equal right?

I just wanted to say this.
When you hate someone - its quite obvious that the things you think of when he/she comes to your mind, are his/her bad qualities. I said earlier in the post that there has to be a balance in the good and bad of a person. So while you 'hate' someone, all you ever think about are the ugly points. After all, I think everyone would agree that bad things are easier to point out. You'd have to really focus to find someone's good quality. And so, why not focus? Try finding someone's positive personality. You know how they say - you can never truely know someone unless you grow close to them? Its the same thing. People see each other through the way each individual present themselves. Sometimes, people have bad presentation skills. But when you get to know these people - you'd be surprised that they possess rare qualities. One out of ten would own such character. All of us owns an extrodinary personality - besides the obvious and common rotten character - all of us are good people.

If you know about someone who hates you
Think about this.
Do you think, that the particular person has got no haters on their part? They too, have haters. They, like all of us, are people too. They have bad qualities like we do. Talking behind your back, for one, is a bad quality. You are no worse than they are. Yin and yang!
And if you cant seem to find anyone who hates them, then think of this next.
Out of 10 people who hate you, there MUST be one who loves you more than anything. One person who sees the real you. For me, I just tell myself that not everyone hates me, and I have friends who'd stand by me. Knowing that, its enough to ignore that one hater. Or rather, those haters.

The best thing - my family
The next best thing - my friends.
And not those friends who come and go.
Its those friends who stay.

I may have haters, but I have my family and my friends to go along with it.

Thats all, bye(:

Drum Till I Hurt - Stupidity Case.

2009-11-12T02:48:00.000-08:00

OKAY.
I know I said I'm going to post Ko's Farewell's pictures, and the cake making day pictures. But like, too many la. So I'll post when I'm freeee. :] Which is.. probably in the next blog entry. Heh.

SO.
I just felt like posting this today. Er, on Tuesday I think, we had band. I took the keys Mrs. Chng. Supposed to take it from Mr. Tan, but I called Mrs. Quek, and instead asked for Mrs. Chng when I called Mrs. Quek. -.- Does that make sense? I have nooooo idea why I called Mrs. Quek but asked for Mrs. Chng. -.- -.- -.- When I told Mrs. Quek this, she gave me the diaooooo face. HAHAH. I am officially a weirdo, lol , sorry Cher!

BUT ANYWAY.
I got the keys, so I went to the band room early. Like, at 10:30am? Yeah. Band on that day supposed to start at 1:30pm. So... I was 3hours early. :]
For what? I jammed! As in, practised drums before the band started to gather. I played and played, and I tried to play difficult songs
TILL. UNTILL. UNTILL.
I KEPT KNOCKING MY LEFT HAND WITH THE DRUMSTICK I HELD IN MY RIGHT HAND. AT THE SAME SPOT. PAINFULL. CRAZY PAINFUL.

I stupid la, not very good still dare try difficult songs. -.- Idiot. haha.
I shall be less ambitious next time and know myself.
As in, that I'm no good. T.T
Lousy la, wish I could play like Khairul.
Pictures to prove my stupidity.

Thats all, bye!

Teacher's Day Video

2009-11-06T07:06:00.001-08:00

Okay, blog skin changed, song changed.
Things changed. -.-
Will finish up the remaining details next time, now i'm just lazy.

Anyway, just thought I should share the Teacher's Day performance video.
Haha, we sucked like hell.
BUT we had fun.
Its a joy to work with those Sec 2 boys.

I was on the drums! :D
I'm quite happy with the music, Aikel and Aridz played really well. The singing... Well. Danish and Farid first time la~ haha. So excuse them. HAHA.
This was the lower secondary performance. The crowd was not bad, Yay lower sec (:
The recording sucks, there wasn't sound check, mixers, nothing. So the sound projected to the hall was pathetic. AND MY DRUM SOLOS COULDN'T BE HEARD. Like. HELLO?! haha. x]

BUT ITS OKAY LA , IT WAS GREAT !
Got good comments on youtube. :D

And besides, it was all in the name of fun. So good or not, ear hurting as hell, we don't really care because we had the time of our lives on stage on that day.
If it serves as a good laugh to you, I'd take it as a compliment haha, because I laugh too when I think about how brave we were to go up there even though... well. Enough said.

SO turn off the blog's background music, and hit the play button on the video! (:

Enjoy!

Check Yes Juliet Cover (stage) - Reverse Rapsody
(and invited guest, SherilAmilia? haha.)

Ko's Farewell Story (:

2009-11-01T05:49:00.000-08:00

I am constantly trying to find the will to study.

Whats that word?
The one that means you drag stuff.
Oh yeah, procrastinate.
I'm a cronic procrastinator.

I have two days to the Amath re-test.
And though everyone tells me that they don't do their either, I don't feel any different. I mean, come on. How does saying, "Don't worry, I also never do" helps? I'm sorry if by saying this I'm directly pointing to some of you, but its true ain't it. Just because people don't do it as well won't make anything better. It just means they're just as lazy as you are. As careless.

Sigh.

Anyway today, had a gathering for Ko. He's going back to Korea. ): So to celebrate his farewell. Not in a bad way la~ Lol. So, we had fun I guess. Had several went-wrong-jokes and some bad-moods passing around. &&! the outing was supposed to be for my class alone, but it ended up that most of the classmates couldn't make it so we invited all the others from the different classes and a senior as well (Michelle) lol. WELL. At least we all had fun (I hope), we would all remember this day (for sure) and we had the joy of making a cake for a friend (goooood cake sommore x] ) .

Basically on Saturday me, Yizhen , Kim, Jieyi and Shirly made or rather, deco two cakes especially for Ko (credits to my mom as well) . They came to my house and we got it done. It turned out really nice! (: Then came Sunday, those who said they could attend backed off for reasons of their own, and so we had to re-plan the whole outing. BUT. Everything turned out extrodinary. Credits to Jieyi and Henderson for bringing the mats, Arshad for buying the utensils, the boys for bringing drinks, Amirah for bringing the delicious mee, and of course the gang who made the cake. :D Unbelievable initiative shown, haha. Oh and thanks Ko for being spotting for the day !
We took pictures, creamed people, played wacko, stuffed our tummys, made a fool at the children's playground, shouted, laughed, cried (seriously, haha) and well, everything else that I missed? lol.
I'm really glad I had fun. :]
It was an amazing day.

& Ko? I'm going to miss you, Silly Boy. ;]

Pictures for the 1) Cake-Making-Day
2) Ko's Farewell Party in the next post ! :p

EOY Pending Madness.

2009-10-25T03:48:00.000-07:00

Hello cruel world.

Tomorrow is Monday.
Tomorrow is the day I get my other EOY papers.
Tomorrow is the day.

I'm dead.
Well, not literally.
But dead enough.

Yolasite crashed, Exam-ed Drowned. ):

2009-10-20T04:23:00.000-07:00

Something is wrong with my yola account ):
And I didnt even get to play around with it yet. ): ):
Oh well, blogger it is.

SO.
Updates.
Honestly, i dont really want to talk about life. I just feel like, talking to myself again. Heh. ._. Whaaaaaaaaat. Its better than.. I dont know, it's better than nothing. I just felt like blogging. Because, well because of exams. Shall I start?

So people think I'm smart (haha, no kidding) , and people think I'm lazy (as if that isn't obvious) and some think I'm the latter, and far from that first. Well, I don't care. At least, I thought I didn't.
Today I went out with my two darling friends, Lindsay and Zakiah. Fun, fun and fun. We didn't really do anything WOW but, we had fun. We spent a long time in a DVD store at simei, talked, laughed and talk? haha. We didnt rent or buy anything AND fyi, we're not weirdos who have nothing better to do than to 'waste' time in a CD shop. -.- Firstly, Its not a waste of time, and secondly, we had our own agenda. (:
We're going to set aside a day to movie marathon together, as usual. Each of us will pick a movie of our preference, the forth movie will be the one that we all agree on watching. So, yeah , 4 movies. Or, maybe more? Hah. I'll list them when we've really decided kay, (:

So after that, we all went home. Sort of. Lol.
Then I started thinking : Shit.

You know how difficult it is to teach a baby to pronounce a word correctly? Well, what I'm going to say is more like trying to teach a baby to say out a complete sentence. -.- Crazy? Tell me about it. So what is it? The baby is me, and its not to teach me to say a word or a sentence, its for me to learn all my subjects, that I'd rightfully need a year to fully master, in a day or two.

The results?
May I repeat : Shit.

All my end of year examination papers were killers to me. I couldn't do a single one right. And this, is no exaggeration. Really. Every single one, I couldn't do. Every-Single-One. Not my english, not my malay language, not my E-math, not my humanities. AND DEFINITELY not my sciences. Teachers? Need I say more.
Its like being able to see the future. Fail.
I screwed my compo, I screwed my MT paper 2, I screwed both Emath, I screwed SS with loss of 20+ marks, I screwed Geog with all my wrong explainations and names, I screwed my Amath as usual, and I screwd the two subjects I had planned to pass - Physics and Chemistry.

Half of my Physics paper was empty.
Three-Quaters of my Chem paper was empty. Not kidding.

And to know that results are coming in just 3 days, my heart feels like its been flattened by a hammer. Or maybe a chopper. hmm.
I've tried all kinds of distractions - and I've told myself that I cant really do anything. Who can? But I can't help it. Its like this short sharp pain that stabs my emotions everytime I think of my amazing-results-to-be. I know I'm at fault - I know I'm wrong because I've never put in even half of the required effort, and that I never really cared. I'm to blame because I've been pretending my way through showing that I'm a good student.

But I've never wanted to be that way ! I was only like that because I was afraid of showing teachers, parents and friends that I wasn't good enough. I was afraid to let them know that I'm not smart; that I don't understand anything that was being taught in school, and that I was lagging waaaaaaaaay behind. Yes, my pride blocked my view. And sad to say the pride is still there.
I see now that my lack of interest to give any attention at all to my studies became a permanent stain. I didn't even want to touch any books. Thats how bad it is. I cant say that part of me is gone, but I have a feeling its still there. Its awfully a gangsterous weight that pulling me down. I can't even remember how good I felt once , for studying. Now, I just cry.
What if I get retained? What if I get transferred to another stream? Teachers hate me. What if I get last in class? Last in my level? What if I get 20% and below for all my subjects? What would my parents say? What would the school do to me? What would people think of me? How would I be treated then? Will I ever be smarter than I am today? I know that the EOY was fully last minute, and I foresee that it far from worked.

But will I ever be able to shoulder the embarrassment?

Now I feel that I dont deserve to be celebrating. To go out, to have fun. I feel that I dont deserve to go to Hong Kong. ): Really. And I feel like the only thing I should get is to drown myself in life punishment forever. Or maybe just jump off a cliff.
I'm so stupid.
Why.

Right now, frankly, I'm only thinking teachers and parents shouting at my ears. Or maybe just nagging. What am I going to say? Besides, its too late for me. Its too late for me to get any smarter. To learn what's enough for my exams. My national exams.
I'm so afraid. ):
I have half a mind to not come to school and face my results forever. How could I? Mrs. Liow will keep pointing out to the class about how badly I did. Keep rubbing it in. Dont I know already? Dont they?
And that I'm the stupider side of the class.
Oh god.

Can I sleep, and never wake up.

Sigh.

BLOGGER'S BACK !

2009-08-30T09:23:00.001-07:00

BLOGGER CAN USE READY OMG

MIRACLE.

MOVED.

2009-08-16T06:07:00.000-07:00

MOVED FOR GOOD.

MOVED.MOVED.MOVED.MOVED.MOVED.MOVED.MOVED.MOVED.

http://sherilamilia.yolasite.com/

New blog not done editing, but just letting you all know now because I cant stand blogger any longer. -.-

Oh, rhymes. haha.
Check it out :D

SCREWED BLOGGER.

2009-08-08T08:20:00.000-07:00

WHY IS BLOGGER SO SCREWED ):

I got so much to post about !

H1N1 SICK BUT YOUTUBE MY WAY THROUGH (:

2009-07-31T07:23:00.000-07:00

So I'm sick.

Like some of you might have already known. *Breathless* haha.

Been sick for quite awhile now. And being sick can really get to you sometimes. I mean, you can go koo-koo. Trust me, I think I fit that description perfectly. -.- SO.

I got bored. Lonely. Pretty much sick on the inside. LOL .
So what did I do!

I youtube-ed my day away. (:

Seriously, I think I spend more time with youtube than with anyone else. AND. The best thing is you'd find so many different unexpected videos! I found quite interesting ones today. Well today, I was desperate to laugh. And I typed in funny, and a lot of crap came out.

Until THIS!

Inspiration Interpretations - What I've Been Looking For (AJ)

You guys might not find it funny, but think its DAMN HILARIOUS. -.-

I ♥ AJ.

I watched it a couple of times before I stopped laughing out loud. As in, LITERALLY laughing out loud. Like. Really LOL-ed. Okay, I think by the way I'm talking its pretty obvious I'm really sick. lol, mentally eh.

So yeah. Watch the vid.

PLEASE TAKE NOTE.

All the vids that I share on my blog are WORTH watching. So if you dont, you're missin out babe. (:

& one last thing.

SOMEONE told me that a lot of people come to my blog. Some I dont even know! I have FANS who come to my blog eh? HAHAHAHAHA. Albeit they just dont tag. Evidently my posts are interesting to read? HAHA. Aw, so sweet?

I love you dear, a lot ;D
Of course you already know that dont you lol.
I read your blog everday too. :}

Thats all. :D

Chendol

2009-07-30T03:22:00.000-07:00

IMPORTANT ANOUNCEMENT!

As some of you might know, or rather, as Lindsay and Yizhen might know x], I've wanted to eat chendol since early 2008! And I kept talking about it. Which is why in my compo about Singapore, Chendol was the first thing that came up (I cant believe Yizhen noticed it in the compo haha) . SO!

Last week!

I HAD CHENDOL! WHOOO~

haha. Lame , but whatever.

There's one catch though. -.-

I realised that the chendol looked like my cat's vomit (overall) , rabbit's shit (the beans) , bird's shit (the white stuff) , and extremely green mucus (the chendol itself), all mixed together . (:

**In case you guys didn't know, the green jelly is called chendol.

Here's the picture:

My cat's vomit + rabbit's shit + bird's shit & supeeeeer greeeeen mucus. (:

Dont think it looks like mucus? Let me prove it.

...Introducing...

Mr. Mucus.

(I'm serious, thats his name. He's part of some mucus awareness program LOL. )

________________________________________________________

While we're in the topic of disgusting food, lemme share somemore.

Me and HeeCheng went to get ice pop before we went on our way home after band.

Now, the best part.

The pictures. (:

Thats just sick.

Thats worse.

&I know you know what I'm talking about. Hahaha.

Afifah & Vanishaa, if you're reading this, I know you looooove the way I describe food. x) You love this post don't you. HAHA.

______________________________________________________

Okay, now for less food-related pictures.

Joel and Yizhen came over to accompany me while I was sick last weekend. To learn guitar, haha. So yeah, they came. First Yizhen, later Joel. Had fun with them (:

She looks cool huh?
But there wasn't any sound coming for her guitar, haha.

___________________________________________________________

Thats all!

Hope you enjoyed that. Heh.

SCHOOL LIFE AT ITS WORST.

2009-07-27T06:21:00.000-07:00

Just wanted to highlight something.

MY SAD AND MISERABLE LIFE,
H-A-T-E SCHOOL.

I know I'm missed school for 7 bloody days,
but whatever. (:

&& Just wanted to share something.
I really like their cover, its good!
I listened to it a thousand times and still loved it.
I'm a fan of the girl (Cathy) but the guy sings great too.

Michael Jackson Tribute - Andrew Garcia & Cathy Nguyen.

LISTEN & WATCH OR YOU'LL REGRET, I SWEAR.

Thats all.

Missing Birthdays, Youth day.

2009-07-25T07:08:00.000-07:00

Time for a FUN post! x]
Today's post contents!

Small world? haha.
Youth Day! (3E1)
13th of July
Embarrassing incident. T.T
BIRTHDAY APOLOGIES. -.-

(I put contents because this post is gonna be a little bit like Char-Guay-Teow. haha.)

_______________________________________

ITS A SMALL WORLD.

You know how freaky it is to meet 2 different people at 2 different times and at the end of the day you find out that those two people actually know each other? -.-

Okay, that wasn't random. Its just that it happens to me so often, so it freaks me out. lol. ANYWAY.

I'm finally posting (:
What should I talk about? Nothing interesting happened so far luh. Lets see..

________________________________________________________

Youth Day!
My class had sing-along session. I brought my guitar to school, and yeah, played the wholeeee day. Before school (with Carissa), during class (LiPing, Carissa, Aloysious, Fouzan), during Youth Day interaction (the whole class), and after school (HeeCheng, XingYing, Afifah, Syadrina, Noriz, Izwah. I think.) So in class, I tried to like, bond the class? Lol, because some of our classmates wanted sing-along so yeah, I rocked my guitar. (: But , I didnt exactly rocked the class. HAHA. Can't blame them, some were shy to sing, others simply didn't know the song. ;]
Believe it or not, only when I played a chinese song, did my classmates open their mouth to sing. -.- Oh and finale! We sang "I'm Yours" by Jason Mraz. Yeah, its a common song to sing, but who cares! I had fun. (I dont know about them) but I think they did too, because when you hear the class singing together, you cant help but get excited , and thus, you'd tend to sing louder. Which was what happened. :D Well, I won't say it was SUPERB but I guess the class tried to get involved. And Mrs Choo sang too. ^^
Pictures up in next post.

3E1 ROCKS YAW. :DD

_________________________________________________

Okay, erm.
Something happened on the 13th of July. (:
_________________________________________________

&& What would you do, if you saw a little boy standing in the middle of nowhere, in a shopping mall, crying damn loudy?

Ok fine, Jess said she'd leave the bloody boy alone.
But my NORMAL human instincts would tell me that the boy is LOST.

Right right right?
So I approached the boy and ask if he's lost la. This little incident of mine happened today, when I went to Tampines Mall to buy dinner. So yeah, I asked, and the boy continued crying. Then I wanted to bring the boy to the information counter thingy, but he didnt want to follow. So i tried to confort him la, wipe his tears and all that. Then ah, after I wasted my time squatting there like an idiot, trying to find out what the danging boy wants, a man standing at the corner pulled the boy away to leave, then spanked his butt, and looked back to look at my super-duper diao face. -.-"
THEN HE LAUGHED. THEN THE BOY LAUGHED. WHAT WAS SO DAMNED FUNNY? -.- The boy stopped crying , AND LAUGHED ALONG WITH HIS FATHER. CAN YOU BELIEVE IT!
HE WAS THE BOY'S FATHER LA, WALAO. He was standing at the corner the whole time, watching the little show me and his son were putting up in public. -____-" What a fucker. He could have CAME UP TO ME and told me that HIS SON WAS CRYING BECAUSE HE JUST FINISHED SCOLDING HIM RIGHT. And the stupid boy didn't have the brains to tell me that the man in the corner was his father.
AT LEAST POINT TO HIM LA BIRD BRAIN. What do they teach kids in schools these days.

Like father , like son.
I swear, I'm not helping lost kids again. -.- Sorry , I'm just really annoyed. Made me look like an idiot. Sheeeesh.

_________________________________________________

And~
OH. YEAH.
**clears throat**

I WOULD LIKE TO TAKE THIS OPPORTUNITY TO APOLOGISE TO ALL MY FRIENDS IF I HAVE FORGOTTEN TO WISH THEM ON THEIR BIRTHDAY. I SWEAR, I'D PUT AN EFFORT TO REMEMBER THEM NEXT YEAR.

haha. My retarded speech.
Its not long enough to be called speech, but whatever. :)

Those that I REMEMBER that I've forgotten are: -.-

Nur Shela! (IM SORRY , I'M ASHAMED OF MYSELF.)
Durrani! (Thank you for allowing me to wish you belated at least , haha.)
Izza! (I'M GOING TO CALL YOU TOMORROW, I PROMISE. -.-)
Zakiah! (I knew the date of your birthday, but I didnt wish you! SORRY SAYANG!)
Vanishaa (Hey, you forgot mine too what. haha.)

& to those I didn't mention up there,
I'M SORRY. Just, tell me if I forgot yours too, and I'll try to remember next time! :x I like no face liddat, hahahahahaha. sorry. x]

My Bedok Green friends should know why I cant remember.
I have a veeeeeeery bad memory when it comes to these things, right Yizhen & Afifah? Hehheh.

There, my ding-dong post. (:
thats all!~
BYE.

Cobus, favourite drummer.

2009-06-28T05:39:00.000-07:00

Introducing,

for 5 years and counting,
my favourite drummer. :]

Family Pictures & Father's Day

2009-06-28T01:01:00.000-07:00

My Mother (: My Parents.
Me & Mommy. ;]

& of course, how could I forget about the one person who went swimming with me and a ginormous snake,

And who's helped me pick my nose right from the start when I was too young to do it myself ;

My Bobo (:

There!

Family photos.

Okay, blog song changed. Wanted to use Aj's song, but I got addicted to David's Choi's along the way. Its called -

"Won't Even Start".

Really sweet song, listen to the lyrics.

So David Choi first, Aj Rafael, SOON!

Thats all, bye :]

Aj Rafael - Beauty & The Beast

2009-06-24T07:51:00.000-07:00

Was going through Aj's videos again

Supposed to do my english homework but , haiya cant help it la. -.-
Anyway, I will post the family photos I was talking about soon.
For now, I just thought I should share one of Aj's videos.
First time eh. hehheh.
SO, this one is from his new series - Disney series? haha
I think now he's got 4 videos done, 8 more to go Aj!

Might be changing my blog song to one of his originals. (:

I picked this video to share among the rest because,
1)its funny and fun to watch,
2)He can sing and play the piano/guitar really well la ok,
3)I simply love Aj Rafael (:

Beauty & The Beast - Aj Rafael (cover)

YOU MUST WATCH IT OKAY.
WATCH IT!
WATCH NOW!

Stop the blog song first of course.

Thats all, bye ;]

Books About Parents

2009-06-20T23:40:00.000-07:00

Title: Man and Boy

Author: Tony Parsons

This book thought me a lot about the challenges faced by fathers. Well, sort of. (: Its a touching story about how a man tried to win the right of taking care of his son. Before the court thingy (the part where they will decide who - the mom of the dad - gets to keep the child) , he raised his son alone without anyt help from his wife and realises how much he truly loves him, yet not knowing much about the kid. At the end of the story, when this man's father died, he relises how much his son need his mother, and decides to let him live with her with an open heart. Remember how I love to say - You'll never really get over it but you have to learn to let go? I got it from this book. (:

Title: For One More Day

Author: Mitch Albom

And this? This one thought me about how I should treasure my mother before she's taken away from me. The story really made me realise how much my mom truly loves me and how I used to always want to avoid spending quality time with her. I won't do that again (hopefully). This book is a story of a man who gets the chance to spend one more day with his mother, who died 8 years earlier. The story moves back and forth between memories of his childhood and adolescence, and the action taking place between him and his dead mother. Ultimately, it is a story of redemption and making peace with one's past. It is a story of love, family, mistakes and forgiveness. It may or may not sound like crap, but I'm telling you, I loved it.

You have to read it for yourself (:

My point here is..

I love Daddy.

I love Mummy.

&to my dear Daddy,

Happy Father's Day. ;]

I love you.

Pictures of my family in the next post. ;D

My Grandmom's Death

2009-06-14T08:07:00.000-07:00

When my grandmother passed away on the 10/06/2009, I told a few friends, and everyone said "Its life, people come and go."

As much as I wanted to tell them, "Bullshit.", I knew they were right. I hate it when people give default definitions for life.. To me, its unfair because everyone's life is different, their luck, their success and failures - but when it comes to death and dying, it applies to everyone.

When my mom called, my head started spinning. When I stepped into the house, my legs got heavy. When I saw our family members all gathered, my air pipe got blocked. When I heard people crying, my eyes became dry. When I saw the policeman in the house, my brain stopped functioning. When I saw the death certificate, my heart sank.
When I saw my grandmother - my heart died with her.

I've learnt several things from my grandmother's death, and yes, we've all heard these things before. Like, how we should show the people around you how much you love and care for them because you'll never know when their time (or yours) will be up. People always say that, but believe it or not I bet all of us don't take this seriously. To be completely honest, my heart died the day I got the phone call from my mother telling me that my grandma's returned to god.

Its the first time I've sat through the whole process of the malay funeral and I find it quite scary. Not scary in terms of freaking me out, scary as in, the thought that one day, its going to be my parents, my brother - me. Throughout the day, I could have cried till my eyes got swollen , but I didn't. I couldn't. If I did, it would have been unfair for my mother. She needs way more support, and crying would make it worse. I saw her cry so much that day, it made me realise how much I should treasure her. Always put her first - I could find tons of new husbands in the future, tons of new friends, but I'd never find a new mother.

There's many things I regret, but difficult times help us grow.
It is not what death does to the deceased that their loved ones remember, but rather how the dying challenged those living to look at their thoughts about death and respond to life's challenges. I have to understand that my grandmom's death is neccessary, and the time had came for her. God gave her life, God gives us life, and when he wants it back, I shouldn't complain. I should look at this as a new beginning, a jump start as to how I could learn to cope the next time God calls the name of another loved one home.

Death can come at any time, and the past few days I've been telling myself to start living. In my past posts, I kept saying about how I should start doing things I love and accepting the things I hate. Now, after the death of my grandmother, suddenly I realised that its only when faced with death, one will learn to live. Suddenly I realised I haven't been doing things the way I my heart wants me to.
I know that once I've learnt to live, the fear of death evaporates.

The right to live = The right to die.
Death is as natural as birth and life. We can't stop nor avoid it, so my as well we learn to accept it. Sometimes we fear of leaving behind the few things we love when we die - but nothing you can lose by dying is half as precious as the readiness to die, which is man's charter of nobility.

I love my grandmother - I love my family.
And I've said this a thousand times before because I live by this phrase:

You may never get over it, but you have to learn to let go. Its part of what it means to really love someone. (:

__________________________________________________________________

I searched for a poem on the web especially for this post.
Here it is:

I Will Try

If I am hurt or down,
I will try

I will think of you in my times of need,
When my life is getting rough.
When I'm down with a frown, I know
That the memory of your face will cheer my up.

When I try so hard to move on,
But begin to breakdown and cry.
I will think of the happier place you've moved onto,
And once again I will try.

So when we're all missing him so,
All we have to do is try.
To think about the happy time we had with him,
And then he'll know we tried.

-Meghan E. Johnson

Thats all guys. (:

Grandmom passed away.

2009-06-11T08:34:00.000-07:00

Just to let my you guys know ,

My grandmother passed away.

I can't say I'm quite used death of those I love, but well, her name was called to return to god. It was her time & soon, it'd be mine.

I watched the whole .. process for the funeral.
And to be completely honest, I dont feel very well. Too many things happening at the moment for me - too much to handle. So yeah.
I'll talk about it in my next post. My next loooooooong post.

Best prayers for my beloved grandmother.

Hand wraps & Studying sacrifices

2009-06-07T02:01:00.000-07:00

Tyvm from the hand wrap Alvin. (&Karen)

I totally modelled with it la. haha.

ANW!
I made certain decisions today.

No more school performances for this year and next. FOCUS on studies.

No more movie marathons. ONE movie every sunday only !

Get in bed by 10. Latest 11. (sounds soooo impossible la. -.-)

Don't get involved in any more school activies eg. band and competitions.

Computer time only in the afternoon for 2 (at most) 3 hours!

DONT EVEN TOUCH THE TV. (unless you know there's good shows. xD)

Follow the time table Mdm Fauziah made.

Dont get bitter if your friends are doing the things you want to do but you can't because you vowed you wont do it. (like performing on stage. *sniff sniff*)

FALL IN LOVE. with studing. haha.

Hey you know what ! Its going to be okay. Missing a few performances won't kill me. & besides, I'm not gifted. I need all the time I'd get to study and brush up on stuff. If I can't get an A1/A2, at least pass my subjects and not flung them like shit.
See? I'm making so many sacrifices. haha. WELL. Its going to bring me great advantages in the future, for sure. So nothing to be sad about. (:

BYE!

Carrot, Egg & Beans

2009-06-06T04:22:00.000-07:00

The following post is a story followed by my thoughts at the end.

A young woman went to her mother and told her about her life, and how things were so hard for her. She did not know how she was going to make it, and wanted to give up. She was tired of fighting and struggling. It seemed as one problem was solved a new one arose.

Her mother took her to the kitchen. She filled three pots with water. In the first pot, she placed carrots, in the second she placed eggs and the last she placed ground coffee beans. She let them sit and boil without saying a word. In about twenty minutes she turned off the burners. She fished the carrots out and placed them in a bowl. She pulled the eggs out and placed them in a bowl. Then she ladled the coffee out and placed it in a bowl.

Turning to her daughter, she asked, "Tell me what do you see?" "Carrots, eggs, and coffee," she replied. She brought her closer and asked her to feel the carrots. She did and noted that they got soft. She then asked her to take the egg and break it. After pulling off the shell, she observed the hard-boiled egg. Finally, she asked her to smell and sip the coffee. The daughter smiled, as she smelled and tasted its rich aroma.

The daughter then asked, "What's the point, mother?"

Her mother explained that each of these objects had faced the same adversity- boiling water-but each reacted differently. The carrot went in strong, hard and unrelenting. However, after being subjected to the boiling water, it softened and became weak. The egg had been fragile. Its thin outer shell had protected its liquid interior. But, after sitting through the boiling water, its inside became hardened. The ground coffee beans were unique, however. After they were in the boiling water they had changed the water.

"Which are you?" she asked her daughter. "When trials and adversity knock on your door, how do you respond? Are you a carrot, an egg, or a coffee bean?"

**Think of this: Which am I? **

Am I the carrot that seems strong, but with pain and adversity, do I wilt and become soft and lose my strength?

Am I the egg that starts with a passive heart, but changes with the heat? Did I have a fluid spirit, but after a death, a financial hardship or some other trial, have I become hardened and stiff? Does my shell look the same, but on the inside, am I bitter and tough with a stiff spirit and a hardened heart?

Or, am I like the coffee bean? The bean actually changes the hot water, the very circumstance that brings the pain. When the water gets hot, it releases the fragrance and flavor. If you are like the bean, when things are at their worst, you become better and change the situation around you.

Credits: http://www.wow4u.com/carrot/index.html
___________________________________________________________

Okay some of you might think I'm weird for posting this, but I'm sure all of us have heard this story before. I have, but those people who told me about it didn't tell that story to me in detail. So I made some research a few days ago, and now I finally know the complete story + what it means. So, I'm posting about what I've found out.

I think I'm an egg ):
After the 2nd day of band camp, I thought I was a carrot. Then when the 3rd day of camp passed, I realised I'm more of an egg. -.- Its quite sad. I can say so much more about what makes me an egg, but its quite embarrassing. lol .

I have to learn to accept.
I have to. I have to stop feeling bitter all the time. I have to believe that success is coming for me one day. I have to stop feeling so much shit over some secondary school matter. I know I'll get over it as time passes. I have to stop staying put at one position for so long just because I'm so angry over not getting what I want, or because people dont see things the way I do or the way I wanted them to. It's their life, and they're not letting THIS affect them. Most of the time when you really want something , thats when you wont get it. So I have to learn to let go. They've got what they want, so now, all heck to me right? I have to believe that there'd be other opportunities for me, no matter how big or small. I have to start making decisions in life by following my heart - stop thinking about what was the right thing to do and just DO IT and never look back because usually that would lead me to something good. I have to fully comprehend that I can never change the past, but I can change my future. I have to realize that there is a limit to failure, but there isn't a limit to success - I could have gone as high as I wanted to, but I could still go higher. I have to think about myself. I have to start having fun, start enjoying, and look at a bigger picture. A new one every time. I have to start LIVING. (:

I am not going to let this defeat me. I am going to win. REGARDLESS of what I'm
going through right now, I am going to win.

"SherilAmilia, not getting it is okay.
You'll understand someday." - I hope you're right, Cheryl.

An Idiot

2009-06-05T03:47:00.000-07:00

I may not be perfect for it,
but at least I know I'm having way more fun than you are.

&& you know what?
Nobody really likes you.

Everyone loves me. ;]

-

2009-06-04T08:13:00.000-07:00

Besides being with the band members during camp,

Today sucked, tyvm. (:

Hans-River Dinner

2009-06-03T06:30:00.000-07:00

Surprise , surprise!

Gueeeeeeess what ! I totally enjoyed band today. hahah. Yeah I know its unbelieveable to be hearing this from me. Well, it wasn't exactly the best practise I've had, in fact it could be one of the worst, but what made it the best was that.. I didn't feel A THING ! What I mean is.. I've actually learnt to.. accept it. I didn't feel bitter. At all.

I actually felt so.. free? I've never had this feeling .. of just enjoying myself in band. The last time i probably felt this way was.. Seconday 1? And yeah, now it feels great. I really really had fun. Thanks future leaders, and band members? ;] Anyway after band I went to have dinner with Hee Cheng, Zaid, Fazil and Mr. Tan at East Point Mall. THAT was a blast - we laughed and ate, and ate, and laughed. And ate. :D A lot ! pictures: (captions refers to the picture above it)

Hee Cheng feeding me, I'm feeding her, Zaid's helping himself. :]
Me & Fazil. Retarded. I swear.
Tom Yam!
Me & Hee Cheng!

Our ice cream finale.

Uh, this was toilet break. haha.

Choosing desserts.

Zaid.

Thats all ya'll. (:

LIFE

2009-06-01T07:56:00.000-07:00

Today,

I realised how simple life is. Hah! People always say that hey ! Life's like that - Life's complicated - Life sucks - but do these people really know what in the world are they talking about? Are they like, a 100 years old to have already truly understand the meaning and purpose of life? Or are just saying it because, well, its the simpliest reason to support any shit that happens to you?

You cry when something crappy happens, you get angry when something annoys you and you get happy when life gives you what you wanted. Taking all this into consideration - do you think life is unfair or are we the ones being difficult? Yeah, sure, shit happens, but isn't it our fault at the end of the day? Or wait - is it "life's like that"? Haha, I'm finding all this abit pathetic, really.

What makes you angry/sad? - people not doing what you want, people being plain rude, people being annoying, not getting what you wanted, something you have or supposed to get is taken away by someone else, you lost your job, you failed your exam papers, your parents scolding you, you're gonna get a divorce, someone you love dies - what else? Notice that all these .. reasons are quite typical? Everyone faces it or at least SOMEONE in this world has. So whats the biggy? Is this where the quote "Life's like that" fits? I dont think so.

We choose to be happy. We choose to make a difference. And when we have to choose, we decide, and never look back. It might get tempting, but if we do look back, we'd end up regreting wont we? So.. whats the point? Lets face it, people make stupid decisions everyday. I've said this before - stupid things make us smarter. (or maybe my friend told me that xD)

Why is it we dont realise that there are so many things that can actually make us happy? For me, I like arts - as in music and drawing & when I dont want to do any of that, I'd end up going for a run. Why? Because .. I find our world beautiful. The way things work - like when I see a kid playing ball with his father, or a couple holding hands , or when a family's spending time together, I get really happy inside. You guys might not get it, but its this feeling I cant put in words and its this feeling that brightens my day. C'mon, think. What are the little things that make your heart light up ? Try to take more notice in this, try to find out what it is. It'll turn your world around. :]

When I run, well maybe just jog,,, I think. I think really well. And I found out that being alone is a good thing now. It doesnt mean I've got no friends. I've got loads of friends - just not really close and thats a good thing because that way I can get to know myself better. It's simple - if I think of it as a good thing, it will be. Now, when I feel lonely and stuff, I'd ask myself, "Hey, what do you like to do? Do it now. " Then when I do it and feel happy all over again, I'd think , "Loner but happy." ;D

All we have to do is look at everything in a positive point of view. If you think its bad shit, it is. If you think its bad shit, but keep reminding yourself about its advantages, haha, you'll feel better. We dont really need anyone in our life giving us advise, or anything of that sort. Stop and ask, "What do I think about this ?" Then, it will just naturally lead to something good thats going to happen. Might not be right away - sometimes its a sooner-or-later type of thing.

Do the things you enjoy, fall in love with life's simple pleasures, understand the person you see in the mirror everyday better, and hey, you're good to go.

Besides, life's too short for us to be someone we're not.

Make it a point to cheer yourself up and not wait for someone to do it for you. Its easy because you're the only person that knows what'd make you happy. When something doesn't work out, smile at least. Then take an even bigger step - choosing to be happy. Trust me, when you do that, you wont even remember what was making you pissed in the first place.

I'm starting to learn to love my life. :]

*this post is for you, babeh. Be happy , woman! ;]*

American Idol Seoson 6

2009-05-28T05:58:00.000-07:00

Okay before you say anything,

American Idol this year's not really my thing.lol
My favourite season is American Idol Season 6!
Jordin Sparks VS Blake Lewis.
These performances I've posted are the ones that never stopped giving me goose bumps everytime I watch em.(:

I loveeeeeeee both of them, and I love Jordin more than David Archuleta in Season 7. I mean, during Season 6, its the only time when the contestants actually had totally new performances staged every week, like how Jordin and Blake did theirs. The most memoriable performances for Jordin (to me), is "Broken Wing" and the winning performance, "This Is My Now". - In "Broken wing" Jordin looked GORGEOUS although the intro was a lil' draggy. EITHER WAYS. One of the best performances in AI ;D here are the videos!:

Broken Wing:

This Is My Now (finale):

&&,
I've been in love with "You Give Love A Bad Name" by Blake Lewis since the day he performed it on Idol. TO ME, Its the best (most creative and new) performance anyone has ever done in the competition. Like Simon said, half of the audience might hate it, but some (like me) absolutely ADORED it. I never got sick of watching it over and over again. Blake performed it again during the finale, but I think this version is a lot better (the singing). Its the best of the best performance for me on AI, and I think I should finally share it with you guys, and not hide the fact that I love Blake. (:

You Give Love A Bad Name -

During Season 7 as well, there was a week which was for charity. You know, people kept voting and the money goes to charity. So they did all funny videos and performances to encourage people to vote, and this was my favourite - it has the simpsons in it and I loveeee simpsons (& Simon), so yeah:

(you guys should go to youtube and check out all the charity videos, they're all dead funny ;] )

Video for charity - The Simpsons American Idol, Simon's Audition -

Besides Jordin Sparks, Blake Lewis, and David Archuleta, I love Carrie Underwood just as much and next in line is Kelly. Go AI (:

Hopefully the next season has singers that I actually like unlike this year's. -.-

Thats all guys. :D

Abusing Food

2009-05-24T06:24:00.000-07:00

just a few days ago,

I realised that I eat when I'm upset.
eh wait - ** I realised that I eat A LOT when I'm upset. Either that or I'd go to the movies. On friday I watched Angels and Demons. Saturday Night at the Museum. Today, Monsters vs Aliens. and yes, now I'm broke. I ate so much , oh god if I were to tell you what I've been eating your mouth will fall right open. -.-

Dear god, please help me control my appetite. I have to stop eating so much, my tummy is starting to hurt really bad ):

A Teacher, I Quite Dislike.

2009-05-20T19:59:00.000-07:00

I always thought,

Teachers are supposed to be supportive. They're supposed to be the people who believes that you have the potential to do better, and give you the encouragement to strive for the best. They usually know whats best for you in terms of teen life and studies, and they of all people should know best about how it feels when you fail in achieving good acedemic results. They are by right the people who has to continuously tell us "never give up". And most of all, they don't force us to give up, like she does.

I mean, come on. Shouldn't that be the last resort for me? Why are you telling me to do it now? Am I such a failure and loser in your eyes? I know, I know I've done tons of mistakes in lower secondary. I know, and I've learnt - but when i really think about it, you were never the who's making me learn from them. Things that I don't do, you see. Things that I do, you ignore. Great. So now what, you're saying I'm dumb? Saying that I'm too stupid to be in this class? Hah. I know I'm too stupid for you. I've never been clever enough anyway.

You know whats the worst thing? I've always looked up to you. I've always wanted to be like you when I grow up. You were probably the only person I actually thought of becoming throughout my years in secondary school. The one person I could imagine myself being in the future. I always tell meself, "Hey! I'm just like her!" because I liked the way you did things, heck, I loved the way you did things. They always seem so perfect. But when I started to get to know you as a person, it all came crashing down on me. You made me dislike you so bad, you won't believe how many times I cried because of whatever you said or done to me. I cant believe I actually wanted to be like you. At least now, I know I'm nothing like you. Congrats, I truly hate you now.

These days when I talk to you, I know I might seem rude. What can I do, just looking at you now makes my want to shoot you in the head. You've embarrased me countless number of times, you've made me give up so often, I cant even remember how it feels to be a winner anymore, even when I've lost in some situations. You've never given me the credit I deserved, you've stolen all my glory and given it to others, you've torn my heart a lot, but hey, guess what? This time you broke it. (:

I won't give up anymore. I won't listen to you. I'd hold my head up high, and never be affected by what you do or say to me. I'd kill your words as soon as they come out of your mouth. Its enough - you've made me waste too many tears, created too may worries. I'd do my best from now on, I'd prove you wrong. I'd make you swallow back you insults, I swear. Its my turn to get you embarrassed isn't it, hahah, right back in your face. :D

Right now you're my teacher, so just shut up and teach me.
Dont have to say a word to me, don't even suggest about what I should do to improve.
I'm sure there are other teachers who'd give me more sensible suggestions.

Thats all. ;]

Ps: I miss Mrs. Tan (primary school) and Ms. Hazwah .. ):

Forgeting School

2009-05-16T21:40:00.000-07:00

Hello world.

Haha now, thats classic. -.-
Anyway, all of you should know that secondary 3 life is shit. Don't even try to think of secondary 4 life yet (: My exam results are horrific, and yes, I'm one of those who's got to bring my dear parents for the parent-teacher-meeting-day thing. Boohoo, but, well who cares. Just have to pray hard nothing wrong is said during that period. :/
Been trying to forget everything about school, and yes its been working. I went out with my mom, Auntie Jun, Nadia and my niece, Yaya (Nadirah) and Adik (Nabilah). We went out to tehtarik, then to the beach to build sand castles. :] It was fun.

Today we're going out again, to watch some malay horror movie at Downtown.
Sigh, i know i sound very sian, but yeah. I feel sian. Because? Exams la oi. I'm off to sleep. (yes i know its already in the afternoon -.-) Sleeping is the only way to forget. (:

Love always ;]

Blog Updates

2009-05-13T09:13:00.000-07:00

Ok!
Someone

Made me do all this. Happy now? Okok la, ITS FOR MY BLOG'S OWN GOOD. [; So.
Skin changed. People linked. Song changed. New entry posted. Left with replying tags? Next time ok? haha. Later! Love you guys.

Today's bad.
Tomorrow's worse.
Results shit.
Exams fuck.

Being Self-Centered

2009-05-03T04:08:00.000-07:00

Okay time for me to explain?

Haha. Ok lets see.. Why I don't post anymore ah?
First is because I'm lazy. Another is because no one even comes here. If people do come here, they dont tag, so it pretty much seems like no one's here isn't it? -.- SO! All that means, no one reads the posts ! Though I always tell myself I'm posting for me to read as years go by, but seriously, I haven't been able to find the time. And! Its exam period right? Trust me, I had a lot to post about - the band getting a silver for SYF etc. but like, no point la, you see? Might be closing the blog soon. Or maybe just make it private? Or just delete the tagboard? haha, Imma do that not because of spammers this time, because its to make this blog personal! lol

______________________________

Sometimes its those things that you say that makes me cry every day. And yeah, I'm different, because I know I've changed into a better person this year. [: &&I'm going to say something that will make people think I'm self-centered - but whatever you know? Because at the end of day, those people means nothing in my life - they're neither my family nor are they God. My family wont think that way because . Well, basically they're my family thats why. So what is this thing that I want to say! Hah. Okay, its. I really dont care anymore. I know you hear me say this all the time, but this time it really means something. (yes, when i said that in the past they were just empty words , lol). I dont care about what people think, I dont care if people forget my presence, I dont care if I'm in sitting in the back row of people's lives, I dont care if I'm the last person my friends would think about - if they are my friends in the first place - I dont care how ugly & imperfect people might find me, I dont care if someone has had a better day compared to mine, I dont care if I got the lowest grade among my friends, I dont care if people have negative thoughts about me, oh fuck, bottom line: I dont care. If i had to list everything out, it'd take forever. Its about time I moved on and solely think of myself alone in this world. Thinking of others ain't worth because lesson learnt; people dont think of me and its God who sets my future, not friends, no one. Just God.

_______________________________________
Okok, i have to go. Gotta study social studies and practise maths. Exams la oi!

**I'll reply the tags when i have after exams? haha, right.**

Wont be posting anytime soon either.

later. ~

Rebelious Mode

2009-03-29T06:59:00.000-07:00

Its time I fought back.
Everyone has limits.
&so I'm not giving in no more.

Thanks Danielle. I appreciate your help cuz. :]

An Outing in the Park.

2009-03-23T06:42:00.000-07:00

I went to the park, trying to clear my mind with all those messed up thoughts and I made an effort to breathe. As I sat I observed all the different people in the park, something caught my attention.

I saw a girl. I think she's barely 11, and what was she doing? Crying. I approached her, and I asked her what was wrong. She didn't want to talk at first, but she opened up after asking her several times. She said her parents are fighting at home and that they were going to have a divorce. She can't focus in her studies and friends are all staring to avoid her. She can't think straight, and she feels that god isn't there for her when she need him. Want to know what I said to her? Well, here goes.

"You're still young kid. Stop thinking too much. Don't get involved in adult matters, but if you really cant help it, then hell, get involved - but never use it as a reason for feeling stressed. Stress is an excuse in why someone is not working twice as hard as they should be. Your parents are just having a storm now, and the least you could do to help is try and keep yourself organized. Don't create more problems for them - they already have a handful at the moment. Never let this affect you studies, and trust me, I know exactly how it feels cause I've been on that road before. Your friends are not avoiding, that I'm sure. They're just giving you some space. I mean, look at yourself. You look like you just got out of a hurricane. God is always there. Never doubt his presence. All you have to do is believe that he is watching over every step that you take. And the only way he could help you is when you decide to help yourself. It doesn't matter how slowly you go, as long as you never, never stop. Kid, always tell yourself that wars are not won by evacuations. Don't you ever be discouraged. It's often the last key in the bunch that opens the lock. "

I smiled at her and walk away. Haha, cool? Yeah I know. Lol. Wonder how I can remember whatever I said to her? Its because I was actually really talking to myself, not her. It made me feel so good to turn around and see her face lighten up. Not only did I made myself feel better, I gave a girl a whole new enthusiasm to keep on going. If she's got the hope and willingness to try again, I'm sure she'll make it through. I've got faith in her - she looks like a strong kid.

& so am I. :]

Band Camp 2009

2009-03-20T05:49:00.000-07:00

Band camp.
Crap you wont wanna read? haha.

I just got back from band camp. Its the last camp that I'll have the secondary 4s around. Slept in school for one night. ~~Alone again.~~
I survived. :D Had another embarrassing moment during the musical exchange with Henderson Secondary. All those band members from different schools probably think I suck. Well its true anyway. The danging timpani couldn't stay at b flat. Annoying piece of musical shit. Because of that the whole song sounded blooded wrong. && I kept playing slower then the rest of the band. Even during the main band practise. What the hell is wrong with me, I wonder. Or do I already know why?

Slept as much as I could during the camp. When the teachers were talking, when the band was playing bonding games thing, when we had spotcheck. haha. And on the night itself I slept while sitting down. COOL RIGHT. I didn't know Afifah tried to wake me up, lol. I was alseep la, haha. And she got scared that I didnt react when she tried to wake me. xD During BBQ I was the chef, together with Nazri and all my little tiny helpers. ;D Thanks juniors, I love you guys very very much. :] I think the BBQ part was the only part I enjoyed during this camp. Besides, we played volley before BBQ. ;D I had fun teaching my new sec one juniors, and I hope they know that I only act strict and besides, thats what makes our practise more fun isn't it? You guys said so yourselves. (: Haha. Oh and during instrument mantainance thingy, the percussion didn't have anything to do, so me, YuLu & Ameilia took a loooooot of pictures. We thought of all the different poses we could make together. Loads of fun with them there. :] Haha, here they are:

^Thats Carissa (my junior) in the middle, joining us. ;] Love them both. <3>

I have no idea why I keep holding on. I very well know that it stabbed me, it stabbed me hard. Every single time I see it. Everytime I hear it. It stabs with all my blood pouring out right after. I could still feel it. First, my chest will start to feel heavy. Then I cant breathe, and all the pain will me concentrated directly on my heart. Sort of. In comes the tears. The headache. And 14 years of sadness all compressed into one small heart. No one would truly understand. Fact is no one even knows. I keep forcing myself to be there. Keep telling myself that I'm there to enjoy myself - but it just has to come crashing down on me. It literally tore my heart apart, I swear. I want to stop doing good. I want to stop hoping. I want to just forget that I even had that dream once - but I can't. I already saw many of my friends I thought I could trust turning their backs on me, so why do I have to keep smiling to them? Liars. All of them. I wish I could just run away and never come back. I dont want to see my worst nightmare happening three times a week like a bloody horror movie you swore not to watch again after it freaked you out the first time. -.- && I'd have to bare with it for another 2 years? Wow.. Kill me.

--end--

Encouragement Post

2009-03-09T04:42:00.000-07:00

There are times in life when the things you work so hard for are the things that you won't get. In fact, it happens so often that you'd really just want to give up. You've done your best, you've avoided as many mistakes as you can, and yet the only thing you get in return is disappointment. Yes, it may be dispriting, but its these things that forces us learn to accept, let go, move on, and just love ourselves for what we are and what we have. Not getting what we want is no one's fault, but ours. Like it or not, we are bond to make mistakes here and there - though sometimes we don't see it. & if we don't see it, then always tell yourself that god is simply trying to prevent from letting something worse to happen in your life. What we want is not equal to what we need in life. Never, never let the things that matter most be at the mercy of things that matter least.

There is no such thing as 'depression' because happiness is always there - its only in the matter of whether or not we believe in it. If we choose to be happy, we will be. Tiny efforts like smiling and appreciating the beauty of life would make a huge step to making our day a lot more light. Sometimes you want to kill others for what they have done to you, but always remember that if you are willing to forgive then one day, if you do what they did to you, someone else would be willing to forgive you. Despite everything people say about life, life will always remain fair. With every bad thing that happens it proves that something awesome is waiting for you, no matter near or far it is. The success of others may kill you considering you wanted that same success, but so what, just be jealous, you're only human right. Just always remind yourself that no one knows what your future may bring, but you have the power to let your future take shape with every rough and smooth road you go through.

All that really matters by right, is that you love your family & you are willing to put in countless effort in achieving your goals and that you have friends who love you just the way you are. They don't consider your how smart, pretty or your status, all they really care about is having you as part of their lives. No one really cares if you're a billionaire (except criminals) or a begger . Neither should you. Sheril Amilia, its okay. You will never get over it, but you have to learn to let go. Dont dwel over it because all that does is sink your heart even deeper. You may not have what you want now, but you're in store for something bigger.

One day , you will feel that glory. You will shine the way you've been dreaming of. If you're at the end of the rope, tie a knot and hold on. The key is to never give up hope because you'll never know how much closer you are to achieving your dreams.

It will happen when the time's right - when god is willing.
You can .
Always be patient.
Think positive all the time.

(sorry I'm just really talking to myself. Lol..)

Today.

2009-03-03T04:03:00.000-08:00

I know no one really knows this blog is back open.
But its okay because it doesnt affect me..
This time , my post is going to be long.
Because the longer the post is, the lazier people are to read it.

Today.
I felt like my brain was going to burst. I've failed countless number of tests. I have to say I deserve it, but its not making me feel good, thats for sure. I feel like an idiot everyday in class. Everyone seems to understand what is being taught, but there i was, sitting right infront of the class, confused. Worried. It's been very dispiriting, and I hate the fact that I chose to be in this class. I hate the fact that I picked pure subjects. I hate myself for doing all that.

Today.
I felt extremely relieved that all my due maths homework is done though I still have due chemistry, malay and SS homerork. But I finished my english right on time and managed to sqeeze in time to study for my malay and geography test today. Though these few days nothing can seem to get into my head, I think today is an awesome day for me if compared to all the others that I've had this year. I cried a lot lately and had slight asthma once in awhile. Stressed. Really. Really stressed. But because my work was done today, it made me happy. Slightly happy. I'm still at number 0 for maths, physics and malay. Hopefully I'll catch up soon.

Today.
I realised to my horror that the same thing that happened 4 years ago is going to happen again. I realised that I won't probably get what I've been dreaming and working so hard for since I was a young kiddo. It broke my heart when I saw what I saw today. I felt like giving up, but I've put in too much effort to just throw away all that hard work. If I knew this was going to happen. I wouldn't have been such and enthu ass. I wouldn't have done all that I've done. I would have got out of it in the first place. It happened again. Twice in my life I had that chance, and twice I am forced to feel this same painful failure. I know its not confirm yet, but I have that really strong feeling. My heart couldn't be lying. It seemed so clear. So obvious. Yet it stays a question. I'm still trying hard to let my heart go. To be willing to accept that it wasn't meant for me. To make myself believe that I never wanted it at all. But I couldn't help it. Its there. Its still there. And it ain't going nowhere. Dear god, please help me to throw away that particular dream/fantasy of mine. Its not going to happen - I see it now - so I want to stop hoping. Help me stop hoping because if i do stop, I won't get disappointed. Not again.

If I could have one single wish.
It would be to never have dreams because dreams only make you imagine. Dreams only make you believe and hope it happens. When by right, you shouldn't ever be counting on it. Not once.

Thats all.

2009-02-23T03:01:00.000-08:00

Tag replies:

shekin: aww, thats so sweet, thanks! Love you too. :]

indy: haha, go watch it! its nice. You take care too, miss & loveeee ya.

Fouzan: In the process yo, sorry, lazy to link. -.- and are you calling me funny classmate or you're calling yourself the funny classmate? lol

Zakiah: Linked. (:

Jasmine: Lol, i know you're my junior, I dont have other friends named Jasmine. -.- haha, linking me? Thanks? lol, will link you back when I'm not lazy aye. ;D

Shazli: wth Shaz, you wanna be my junior? Haha , anyway, hello. (:

Danielle: Whats wrong? haha, texting you about it soon i hope. ;)

YiZhen: LOL THAT SOUNDS REALLY ME & when you said it it sounded CUTE ! xp

Qazimah: You're actually reading my posts? Lol, thanks , will try.

Melissa: I'm still your partner la, in chem class. x)

HeeCheng: What! Korea is b-e-a-u-tiful, woman. -.- haha, but thats my opinion anyway. x)

Nasuha: haha, link you went I'm not lazy aye. Sorry. :/ haha. aku ni pemalas luh.

Izza: hello. (:

Indy: Haha, thanks Indy. ily <3

Afifah: Lol YAY to your blog! andand ! You're a duck who eats chocs. Weird bebek la you. I'm sure you know what bebek is right. Haha. & ala, you pass around yourself la, my blog not famous at the moment la. x) You wanna see band blog go see, tell me for what. -.- Haha, loveee you darl.

Jeannette: Happy belated Valentine's to you too? :X sorry haha.

Bobo: BOBO ROMEO. What an outstanding name. -.- haha.

Kim: Will do when I have the time eh, promise. x)

Murni: Haha, yeah changed since long ago sayang, you ketinggalan zaman. Hahah. jk. ily. (:

Finally!
Sorry for replying late, I can therefore be named, Miss Lazy. -.- haha, no time la, school's been busy and wild. Thats all yaw!

SherilAmilia(:

KL Trip, V-day 09 & my Music Instru!

2009-02-23T00:55:00.000-08:00

Pictures Galore!

Contents:

KL trip
Valentine's Day
Random Music Instruments (that I have) x]

KL Trip
Just got back from Kuala Lumpur to meet my daddy ~ And yes, I had fun. :D Everything went better than expected so thats awesome. Shopped at hugeeeee malls and met cousins who lives there- Norain, Shasha, Sidiq - on the last day. Went to national musiem and yeah, I think thats practically it. It was ... mua family time. && I enjoyed it. :D

Looks familiar huh, this pic. haha. I didn't take that. Bobo did.

Daddy's idea to pose that way. xD

Just got off the train? ._. That train's fake.

"OH SHIT, I didnt mean to shoot that guy"

Ehheh, me and bobo at war.

Getting bored eh, bobo?

Look at my red peaceful eyes. -.-

Looks like I'm at this cow place eh?

The man who came from the future saved us all

from ever wearing underpants again.

Family: Bobo, me, mama, and daddy. ;D

This following pics is cool - they're continuous, on the same wall:

_____

We got excited at Subway because its not halal anywhere else. Lol.

Me & Humphrey Bear.

I'm too fast for the camera. x]

Pose inspired by: Ewan. xD

We were ... over excited to be in this train station. hahah.

___________________________

Valentine's Day

I didn't have a date, but I did have friends. ;D Went out with Athirah & her friends, er, Noran and Nawirah I think - to Cedar Girl's Carnival thingy - met Ariel & Kristy & a few other opera kiddos but didn't meet bobo's cikgu. Basically spent alot there because the ticket stuff is super ex, but its cool. :D Loved the hunted dungeon experience most. Got coke spilled on my shirt & toe injuries but hell, I enjoyed Athirah and her friends company. Besides, who else would be able to go out with me on that day? My other friends had dates to attend eh. ;] Pictures grabbed from Athirah Almighty's blog. Hahah. :D

Thats my bestie up there. hahahah. xD
Athirah.

From left: Nawirah, me, Athirah & Noran.Thirah looks cute here. :D (& she looks like that Camp Rock person right. O.o)

The guy on the left is Thirah's friend, Izhar I think, and the girl in the middle is Ariel. :]

Ariel and her $1 dollar gift mustache from Athirah. :D

________________________

Random Mucis Instruments
A few days ago I stepped into my music room at home and realised how many instruments I had and it made my day. Hahah. Plus, I got my dearest cajon, which I've been telling you people about how much I wanted to buy it right? & lol, since many are asking what it is, I got a picture of it down there. :D Hahaha, its a box? Yeap it is, to be precise, its a percussion box aka. cajon. ;D My instruments are keyboard, cajon, chromatic harmonica & percussion elec. kit. Bobo's are: elec guitar, semi acous. guitar & ukelele. But overall, we share our instruments, so its considers ours. ;D That is all.

All our instruments together.
Even those things on the keyboard are instruments okay - they're egg shakers. :D

CAJON. :)

My precious, precious, precious darling box. x)

Chromatic Harmonica.

Which I am still learning. x)

Percussion Elec. Kit

Bought by dear daddy while in U.S. ;D

All mineeee. ;x

Thats my long post there & I'm ending here. Posting again soon I hope, and tags replied. ;)

SherilAmilia(:

Everything?

2009-02-16T04:32:00.000-08:00

I've decided that I should put up a contents thingy, so that people who come here to read about what I posted could quickly see whats it about and choose not to read it after all if it has nothing to do with them & they dont have any particular interest in the matter. :]

**please excuse any spelling errors or typos, I'm typing this in a real quicky way. :p

Contents:

School stuff & attitude
Missing Loyang Musical Exchange
Physics Test results

School's been shit.
School has always been shit since the start of the year. I'm hating school, not only because of studies, I hate it because its been very crappy in all the other aspects of 'school'. I think its practically my fault because I admit, its probably just me who is the one digging up trouble among friends. I dont know exactly why, so I'm sorry to all my friends who're pissed or annoyed with me. :/ I'm sorry, even the horoscope thingy says its a month where I'll find trouble with friends due to everything that isn't flowing very well with my life. So SORRY! T.T

I'm going to miss the Concert Band Musical Exchange at Loyang Secondary this saturday. & for starters, I feel awfully crappy because I really was looking forward to go. Next, I'm the only player suitable for both set and choice pieces because no one else can play it - I'm not saying because no one is good enough to play, I'm saying we don't have enough people and everyone has their own respective parts assigned. Plus, even if someone is picked to replace me, none of the percussion members practised my part for the SYF songs so last minute studying and practising my parts just to be in time for the exchange wont work. So whats the solution? No one's going to play my parts. And I hold on to pretty major parts, which is very... heart sinking. But, there's really nothing I can do - as most of you guys might agree, family always comes first.

My physics test is a goner. I did study, but that was when my teacher said its on the same day as my pure chemistry class test. Fact is, I studied so much for my physics - I was desperate to ace it. At the end of the day, there wasn't any physics test and it was posponed to the following week. I didn't study when I heard the test is postponed. Why? I thought I was ready, I didn't have the mood to study, I had fever that was scratching high (39.6) and well, other matters that are not really sweet to be said on the net like this. So, summing up, I didn't study, which caused me to get an all rounded score. Just passed. -.- Well, its completely my fault, and I guess I deserve those type of marks. I swear, I'm going to study so hard the next time for physics, that my heart will jump out when I know whatever my marks are. If I don't do well, then well, I can safely say I did the best I could've.

Dear god,
Please help make things better for me, and hopefully whatever I'm doing is always closely guided by you. Help me make the best of me, and my family, not forgetting making my dear friends forgive and love me for the person that I am.

Thats all , yaw.
SherilAmilia(:

Friendship

2009-02-08T09:49:00.000-08:00

Strangers stab you in the front,
Friends stab you in the back,
Boyfriends stab you in the heart,
but Best Friends poke each other with straws.

But that means friends are are just people who dont have the guts to kill you. Which also means that sometimes your closest friends can be your enemy. So if I said I wanted to kill my best friend and my worst enemy, whats the difference? Friendships = glass - once broken, they can be fixed but there will always be cracks. Those people who says friendships is easy has obviously never had a true friend before.

Doesn't include Athirah, she's my darling. x)

-When I needed you most when I needed a friend,
you let me down now like I let you down then.

Stupid Fight

2009-02-05T03:32:00.000-08:00

I'm sorry, it was my fault - how do I make it right..

I might be that way.

I might be what you said I am, yes, i accept; but no matter what, this is what I am, so there ain't no turning back. People might hate me, in fact they obviously do, but I do hate others myself, so thats kind of normal isn't it? There's bond to be people who hates you as much as you hate someone else. & yes, I might only learn to appreciate a friend when I lose them, but isn't everyone that way as well?

Though I don't think I'm that way, I'll take it in & since you think I am that way, I'd just like you to know that I might not know whether or not I've really appreciated you for all those years, but now I can safely say I've lost you, and yet I've haven't had even the slightest feel of appreciation towards you. You're honest to me, I'll be honest to you. I love you, and I think the only reason why we're fighting a way I've never fought with friends before is because we 'love' each other too much. Sounds weird? A friend of mine said that, and it seems true. To me at least.

Since it's been weeks, close to months, and there doesn't seem to be any progress, and you look far happier now, I think it's best we let this be. Can we just not go through any more chapters of fighting, and just ignore? I think its better for both of us. Just pretend we can't see each other like how others can see us. For one thing, at least one of your many worries is gone, and I can almost bet for a million dollars (if I had the money) that you look more than 'okay' now, and if we make things this way (what i said earlier) , you'll be a lot better. It'd be a complete blast for you, I'm sure of that, so nothing to worry about there. I think we both need space, so lets give it some time. Even if the time'd never really come. Friends? Don't think so, we tried that. Just let it rest, kay? ily

I just had to let that out, and to be honest, I actually feel a lot better and i think I did the right thing. I hope she's happy, and I'm sincere here. I want her to be happy. I guess I can stop being over-protective now, right? haha, well. I'm sure she's got many other friends that can take good care for her, so there's really nothing I should be thinking that hard about. Sometimes in life, you can never get over things like this that involves bonds you never really wanted to break, but in time, you'll learn to let go. Its part of what it means to love someone. To truly love someone. I hope she feels the same way I do. (:

And for my dearest bestie, Thiraaaaah~, thanks yo, you made me see so many more things when we talked the other day. You helped! As usual, unlike me right. -.- Thanks again, and ILYYYYYYYYYY! <3

2009-02-03T03:59:00.000-08:00

dear god,
give me a sickness and put me in deep coma for a moment.
I want to sleep for awhile.
I want to know friends that are supposed to be there for me, are there even though I'm unconscious. I want to see which of them are that way .. I know only three for now, and I love them with all my heart - but what happened to the rest...?

Its Not Fun.

2009-02-02T05:15:00.000-08:00

sigh sigh sigh sigh sigh sigh sigh sigh sigh sigh sigh sigh sigh sigh sigh sigh sigh sigh sigh sigh sigh sigh sigh sigh sigh sigh sigh sigh sigh sigh sigh sigh sigh sigh sigh sigh sigh sigh sigh sigh sigh sigh sigh sigh sigh sigh sigh sigh sigh sigh sigh sigh sigh sigh sigh sigh sigh sigh sigh .

They say if you sigh, you lose 2 years of your life.
How many have I lost exactly?
I'm not in the best of moods. Again.
Whyyyyy do I feel so crappy.
I dont know why I'm sad, angry, or whatever. -.-
Dumbdumb. But one word can sum it all up.

AWFUL. D;

It's not fun to be studying till late night.
It's not fun to have that many tests in a single week.
It's not fun to have people who has high expectations of you.
It's not fun to have so much homework a day.
It's not fun to ask parents to sign forms you dont want them to sign.
It's not fun to sit in class during math wondering what-the-fish is your teacher talking about.
It's not fun to learn that all your friends understand something taught by a teacher when you still don't.
It's not fun to fail a test.
I't not fun to get boarder line passes.
It's not fun to sit alone in class.
It's not fun to have friends that avoid you when you dont even know why.
It's not fun to have a guy who thinks he likes you . -.-
It's not fun to get picked on.
It's not fun being called ugly.
It's not fun knowing you're ugly.
It's not fun being short.

..lmao don't take notice of the last one.. Omg why am I feeling soooooooooo crappy! T.T dont mind mua, just a little-not-screwed in the head. (: I wish I can go on and on and on with that list .. There's so much more, but I have homework to do .. -.-

Later.. :]

Australian Day = Chinese New Year?

2009-01-26T19:02:00.000-08:00

OH and I almost forgot.
Shalis told me that chinese new year is australian day.
so..
Happy Australian Day!

Right?
kakakakaka, i dont know aite. x)

Anyway, tag replies:

Jeannette: Next term? By the time I'd get used to it sayang. -.-

Nasuha: Hello. (:

Shazli: Lazy to put your name? Whooooot. -.-

XingYing: Linked :D

Bobo: GOGOGO SCREW THEM!

Indy: You can be my sister? Lol. I miss you too! Will let you know if we're going aye(: ILY!

Qazimah: Lol, will do (:

Yizhen: You have the time to post, but no time to put that up! Disappointment yizhen! x)

HeeCheng: You know you're great?? SELF PHRAISE! haha. I talk alot eh? WHAT! haha. Thanks for dropping by. ;)

Danial: LAME yo. Lameeee! haha.

Later~

Bride Wars

2009-01-25T23:54:00.000-08:00

Hey ho, wussup yo.

Okay, Happy Chinese New Yeaaaar (:
I'm so proud of myself. Past 2 days,
I slept at 6. Oh no no, not 6p.m.,
6 IN THE BLOODY MORNING.
If you haven't noticed, when I said I was
proud, it was sarcastic. -.-
Sigh I can't sleep these days. Been thinking
a lot lately. Gotta push all my worries out yo.
Or I'd die unhealty. x)
OH and , yesterday watched Bride Wars
with Bobo. And you know what?
5 STARS, MAN, 5 FREAKING STARS! xD
I loveeeeee that show! I don't know why,
I really find it awesome~ AND CRAZY FUNNY! Wheee~
Its a MUST WATCH. So what are you peeps
waiting for? GO BUY THE TICKETS NOW!
Hahahaha. Seriously,
its eaking awesome. Or maybe I find it awesome
because I've always loved Kate Hudson, Anne Hathaway.
hahaha, love them (:
Here's the trailer!

thats all!
later~

Cousin Outing

2009-01-24T10:33:00.000-08:00

okay .

Went out with cousins on... saturday, 17th of Jan. (:

Which was a day before Shalis and Shekin went back.

It was overall... pretty quiet. & we didn't do nothing.

All we did was walk. And walk. And walk.

Plan was to watch a movie. But at that time all the movies

sucked. The only one was "miley cyrus live" 3D thing.

I asked them , and Shekin + Shalis and Ewan said they wanted

to watch. LOL. But we didn't. Haha. Er, so we went to the

padang. Then esplanade. Just... sat around. Talked. And..

walked. With respective cliques. :/ But it was okaaaay (:

I gave Endriana a birthday card. Didnt buy any present though.

Sorry . x/ But bobo played his a birthday song for her

when she was reading the card with the ukelili thing.

Er, aka: Tiny guitar.

Taking pictures is so far the only fun part.

Hahaha. Oh and.. All my cousins went back already. ):

Hopefully we'd keep in touch, and meet again in December.

10 months and counting. ;)

I'm really gonna miss them, they're so far the only people

that I really feel comfortable with when it comes to 'family'.

So thats cool ain't it (:

Auntie Mit said me, her and Danielle can go there in June

to meet them. Lol, i think its very unlikely, but well,

its okay to hope. x)

thats all for now yaw, pictures ahead.

Ewan said i look really chinese in this, and boy, he's right. xD
Me and bobo.

Errrrrr. Save your comments to yourself. Haha.

EWAN LOOKS LIKE A VAMPIRE.

Just look at the words and his face.

Next character in Twilight perhaps? x)

Us. (:

Errrr, i look really retarded.

Hellooooo (;

hugs !

one word.

Gay.

Erm. According to Faris: Boy Band pic. Haha.

Ewan and bobo!

On the ground!

I really like this pic, it really wasn't planned. xD

Lawyer? xD

Family (:

I love them all. <3

Here's a short message for them!
Though I'm pretty sure they dont come her no more. :

Hey aussie couzies, I know we're not very close and we just got to know each other and there's so much we dont know about one another but its really awesome - hanging around with cousins like the way we do. I've never felt that way with any of my other cousins, and boy, you really made me love you people (: . We might have a pretty big age gap, but its cool because we're all as crappy. Plus, - like what my brother always complained about - i always wanted to have a sister. This is close enough, yo :D I love you people , and I hope to meet you guys again at the end of the year. I miss you people already. :/

Well, at least I still have Danielle(: hahah.
Later ~

Bullies & CCA Fair 09

2009-01-16T00:21:00.000-08:00

Omg.
So annoying.
Waaaaaaaaaaaaah.
Bullies suck. Really. Really really. -.-
Damn it lah, I hate people making fun of me
okay. Like, you make fun of people so that
everyone has something to laugh about.
Isn't that mean? I mean, if you make fun of yourself
for others to laugh, then its fine, because its against
your own will right. But imagine having someone
who makes fun of you so that others would laugh.
I mean, come on, if you're not a comedian, then
dont even try to be funny because you'd end up
being a bloody annoying clown. Sigh.
But anyway, gonna talk about whatever.

Say, today my class did the mascot. (:
We talked, or rather they talked, like they
knew each other since sec one luh. Haha, bonding ;D
And yesterday, was what, er, CCA Fair .
Hahaha, i had fun ~ Band was super funny
weird, hyper and crazyyy. Jordan said through that
loud speaker thingy, "Join the band !"
And the people at the badminton booth was like,
"JOIN THE BAND!" haha, echo. xD
Then , though i was made OIC, at least i was still
allowed to play the drums , so Yay~ (:
And i asked for one trumpet player to play
along, which was Zaid, and in the end,
the others join in to play as well. -.-"
But haha, we captured a lot of attention. (;
But i still had to go push band members to go and
promote and sell the band, because everyone
wanted to be part of that 'road show' :X
Overall, I think everyone had fun, I did too.
Hahah, i helped play wushu's drum and promote it xD
Argued with people from canoeing, choir, sjab, ncc, guzheng
and npcc a looooooot. Hahahahaha.
I aimed for the parents, yaw. ;)
And its damn cute luh, since I'm in the band uniform
practically every sec one / parents looked at me and
said, "Join the band!" together with the hand action. -.-

Anywayyy, I screwed my math test today.
Copied the question wrongly, and dumb2 sheril
kept looking for the bloody mistake. -.-
So i didnt have time to redo the question...
I screwed my Physics test too.
Damn all the teachers are gonna scold me. T.T
Sigh, moving on.

Now, tag replies! (:

To Hee Cheng: Hey ! Okay !

To Murni: Lol, alright I'll link you, why wouldn't I want to? (: And yeah, meet you in malay, but malay sucks. :X

To Jeannette: Alamak this girl, sabo me when by right you wanna be it. -.-

To Afifah: Moo moo?? hahahah. Hello to you too !

To Yushaa: Haha now you know. And er, thanks? Lol, sorry i dunno what to say. xD

To Shalis: Errrr, but you're family. That coloum is for BUDDIES. xD I'll make a cousin coloum for you people then. Lol.

To Fazwin: You sebok la you. (x

To Shazli: Do you have to tag with the name 'guest'. -.- Hahah, anyway, it doesnt matter luh, i lazy change the spelling of just someone's name. :x

To Melissa: Hahah, thanks for tagging? Lol.

To Dionne: Okeh! (: How'd you know my blog? o.o Will link you soon. (:

To Danielle: Entertain YOU? You haven't given me your blog link yet woman! xD Gimmeeeeeee! hahaha.

To LinEr: Errrrr, which junior? Haha, sorry i dont remember names, I recognise faces. :X Anyway, Hello. (:

Thats all ,
Later, yaw!

Start of School Year 09

2009-01-08T07:52:00.000-08:00

Hey ho (:
Okayokay danielle,, I'm updating ! xD
Alright, er, schools been whatever.
But the teachers I got.. are all awesome. ;D
Lol, Mrs Choo as form teacher (:
Mr Azhar as Social Studies, and he's really funny.
Cikgu Diana again as mother tongue, so thats fine. (;
Science teachers are all great, and we got Mrs Koh
as maths, which is completely awesome as well.
So in terms of studying, its been cool. Other than that,
its been very *fill in the blanks*.

I've been having a lot of homework.
Or maybe not alot, just that i go home late so I dont have
time to do it all, or its just that I give myself more work. xD
like, I study okay, really. LOL.
So yeah, been working and working. T.T Really exhausted.
I'm looking forward for the weekends, going to catch up
with some sleep. Been sleeping at like, 1 or 2 am on
school days this year - which is bad. To people. Hahah.
I'm going to have lunch with Shalis, Shekin & Nadia tomorrow
at bedok interchange. Wanna follow? Lol.
But I'm going out with the rest of my cousins on saturday.
Hopefully they all come. :D

Okay, I'm like, squeezing this blog posting time
in between my homework time, so i gotta goooo.
Gonna be pretty busy. :p

Pictures coming up in next post. Look forward for it! x)

Later , yaw!

Ice-Skating (cousins)

2008-12-31T19:01:00.000-08:00

(pardon me if I spelt any of the family names wrong, kay. xD)

Hey hey hey!
I'm back, hahah.
Okay, here to post eveything about the days
I spent time with my dad's side of the family.
(Auntie Jun, Auntie Mah, Auntie Jah,
Auntie Mid, Auntie Ani & Cik Noi).
Auntie Mah's and Auntie Jah's family
are from Australia, and really,
I haven't seen them since, what, I was like,
super ubber young. Maybe 6 years old?
Or younger, definitely not older than that.
So yeah, first we met during Christmas party on the 27th,
at Auntie Mid's house. Everyone was there,
except Auntie Mah. Er, so yeah, we got to know
each other's names only. Then we met again at this
teh tarik place at Geylang (its where our family always
meet at midnight till morning. Haha. Er, then we started
talking, and planned at outing together on the 30th.

Then we went out (finally) for ice skating at
Kallang. Of course, I led the way. Muahahaha. xD
Me, my brother, Endriana, Ewan, Emmelia,
Shalis, Shekin, Nadia, Faris, Syafiq & Haziq went.
Danielle, Yushaa, Zeana and Syadzuan didnt come along..
Ice skating was.. funny. Lol, I had fun, I think the others
did too. We began to talk more frequently with each other
and seriously, we're all jokers. Hahah.
We're loud, funny, and weird cousins. x)
Oh and we like taking pictures. ;)
I'm proud of all that. And finally, I found
people who actually looked like us. (:
Then for new year's celebration,
we went out but no together.
Auntie Jun, Auntie Mah, and Cik Noi went to the beach.
Auntie Jah's family went to the countdown concert.
My family, Auntie Ani and her family
(Uncle Ari, Syadzuan and Elfian), and Auntie Mid's family
(Danielle & Uncle John) went to the esplanade
to see the fireworks display.
I got to know Danielle, and er, yeah, thats
practically it. xD Bobo went with his friends
and bumped into Auntie Jah's family after the concert.
So after that, at about 1am to 3:30 am,
Cik Noi, Auntie Mid, Auntie Ani and my family went
to our port (teh tarik), as usual, for supper?
lol, okay, I've talked enough.
I think we cousins are going to meet again
before the Australian cousins go back
to their country. ); lol, hopefully we'll meet. ;D
Thats all, enjoy the pictures!

At Auntie Mid's house, Christmas party.

Teh Tarik port, hahah. Look at Uncle John's pose in the background. x)
Ladies from the left: Auntie Jah, Auntie Jun, Auntie Mah, Auntie Mid, my mom.
Guys from the left: Uncle Sharom, Uncle Larry.

The cousins~! (not everyone's here.)

Another picture of us.

Okay, the person looking at the cam is obviously my cousin.

haha, Shalis - sitting on Endriana I think. x)

Was on the way home in the MRT. Or, in their language, train. Right? :x

Lol, us staring into the City Hall station glass thing.

At the station again, look at everyone's tired faces. :/

Lol, this was at a different station.

Haziq at the check-out-your-body-heat-loss thing.

Bobo went in too. (:

Me and Shalis at the National Geographic store.

Ewan moved too fast. :/

Yaaaaaaw. (:

Why are the girls alwayssss talking to Faris again? x)

Credits to Ewan for being the tallest and taking the picture!

(though my face got cut.) xD

Okay, We all got squashed! Especially me, look at my retared face. T.T

All the girl cousins!

Errrr. yeah, its us.

Them (:

Having dinner at vivo's foodcourt :D

Ewan (:

Hahah. (:

lepak at the roof top of vivo x)

Shsssssh, Haziq didnt get Ewan in the pic. -.-

Pose, ya'll :D

Emmelia? o.o

Me and Shalis again (:

Nadia was taking a picture of us & Endriana took this

while posing in that same picture. xD

The elder siblings, except for me. ;D

Shalis, Emmelia, and Fazwin.

Ice skating!

Intro time!

Tallest in picture from left: Syafiq & Shalis.

Second row: Me, Endriana, Emmelia, Shekin, Nadia, Faris.

Lowest row: Haziq, Ewan, Fazwin!

Sorry Shekin. :X

Shafiq and Shalis.

Faris with the brown gloves taking their picture.

Emmelia on the right, looking at him. (:

Me and Emmelia.

Thats all for now, gotta finish my homework. -.-

But this post has all the pictures, so yeah,

dear cousin, you can take em'. (:

2/1 - 2008 Class Outing

2008-12-31T01:13:00.001-08:00

Class outing(:
23rd December 2008, class 2/1.
Happy grabbing the pics, credits to Kim.
I have very little pics, so yeah.
The rest are blur. :/
Thats all yaw.

2.1 ! Take picture la! xD

So much talking, still no picture. -.-
Lol, all those who wore the class-t home (:

Sa'dan with the volley ball.

Sa'dan with the ball again. Lol.

I dont know how Kim was able to take this pic, really.

Shazli dissappointed because girls bullied him. xD

Afifah scolding ChenXin? o.o

Er... No comments.

Laughs?

Reach up for the ball !

Sheril giving instructions. :X

YongSoon & Juliana.

I have no idea what Joel is doing to Shazli, so dont ask. xD

JieYi ! (sorry, just had to share that pic Jieyi. :X

Me and Yizhen. :xAlong came Miss Sameerah. xD

Sheril & Shirly, candid.

Next post on symposium and the outing i had with my cousins from Australia yesterday! Till then, thanks, and buhbye!

Singapore Flyer (JY & Naz)

2008-12-30T22:55:00.000-08:00

*drum rolls*
Here I am again!Hahah, since people kept requesting that I have my blog back, then Tada! Lol, okayokay, I do feel like an idiot for taking what spammers say to heart. I know they're supposed to mean nothing in my life, so I shouldnt bother. (: I learnt my lesson? Lol, anyway, here are pictures of me and Kakak (JiaYin) along with Nazri, all going to Flyers. Erm, when was the flyers thing? Hahah, sorry I cant remember. Somewhere around this month: December. So yeah, happy looking around. ;D

Us at the new-year-thingy-ball-floating thing. (;

Lol, them.

Tini Flyer and us.

Lol, S'pore Flyer miniture. xD

Me & Kakak at S'pore Flyer!

Mua & Nazri. (:

Believe it or not, those buildings are fake.
They're actually very tiny.
Look at how shiny JiaYin's shoes are ~ (x
-no comments-

SuperSheril really is flying ! x)

From left: Adik, Kakak and Nazri. hahah.

The floating platform bacame a field!

Here's a story:
One day, SherilAmilia & Law JiaYin played a game.
JiaYin won the game and laughed happily at Sheril.Sheril got angry with her. xD

JiaYin wanted to take a pic of me so much,
So here you go Kak! (omg, i look freaking retarded.) xD

JiaYin took that, I have no idea why, but at least she
got the view. (and my leg) -.-"

Now there's a more decent picture. :D

The flash hurt my eye, really. :x

Sitting on the floor when there are seats in the flyer? -.-

The view when we were 1/4 from the ground.

"Uncle, help us take a picture before the ride please?"

Me and Nazri acting cute. xD

Us before going to the flyers: Esplanade's roof top.

Thats all! More to come in the next post yaw~!